It's hard to believe it hasn't even been a full week yet here in Kenya. Honestly, it's felt like much much longer. Yesterday was probably the longest day of all as I woke up early in the morning and found myself incredibly sick. I don't ever remember being so sick in my life. As the day stretched on, all I could do was lay around on the couch and/or my bed for the majority of it. It took a lot of work to stand or even sit up. Thankfully, the majority of that has now passed, though today I still find my physical body incredibly weak.
It's hard to really put into words what these first five days have been like. I know they've been much harder than I ever anticipated they would. I knew things would be overwhelming (or I thought I knew) but I don't think anything could've really prepared me for what I felt and still feel. Yes, the days are long. Yes, I don't really know much Swahili, so communicating with the kids is near impossible. Yes, I haven't really met anyone my age yet, so there's not been a lot of opportunity to really build relationships yet. All of those things make for a fairly lonely five days.
Yet in the midst of what I may see as tough times and adversity, God most likely views as an opportunity for me to grow. These five days (and probably first 2 months) have been and will be an opportunity for me to really understand what it means to rely fully on Him. Funny, I always thought I knew what it was to do that, but being here in Kenya where everything is new, I'm realizing more and more how self-reliant I had become. I've never had to walk through so many extreme changes all at once. And I've never not had my family & friends right there (in person) for me to walk with. So it creates a new layer of dependency on God. I have to rely on Him to pull me through...if I don't, I'll never make it through this year!
As hard as this first week has been up to now, I can't look back on it & say that I'd change it. I mean, I'd like to, but I know that I have grown through it. I know that my perspective is changing. And I know that there will come a day here in Kenya where things will just begin to fit. There will come a day when it feels more like home. There will be a day when I find myself speaking some Swahili and building more relationships than I probably ever imagined I would. So I will press on. Because I know that the best times here in Kenya are yet to come.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9
3 comments:
Praying for you girl! Get to know the Caregivers! They are awesome, and will be very helpful teaching you Swahili and helping communicate with the kids! Praying that this next week is a lot less lonely for you :)
Lizz Bramble
Dude- I'm right with ya on the struggles day to day with the language and loneliness...It's been a crazy 7 days here as well. You''re right about learning what it means to fully rely on God! I can't say I haven't built relationships, but every relationship has had it's challenges, and it takes a lot more effort than in the states. Being sick stinks too! My stomach has been hurting ever since Mon...just not the same..hopefully soon it will feel better!
I'm prayin for ya every night dude! Hope things get better there! Keep in touch! :)
Kristy!
I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you! I know you can do this! and o i also know that God has amazing plans for you in this coming year! i cant wait to be there with you in a few weeks! What you are doing is amazing! Love ya girl!
Amanda :)
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