Not even three full hours since landing here in Kenya & I have already found myself in tears. Why? Doubt & fear. While I'm sure it's only normal (plus add in that I've been up for 26 of the past 28 hrs. of travel) it's not a fun place to start.
Everything that could rise up to tell me that I'm not cut out for what I'm here for and all those doubts and fears of what's next are rising to the surface. It's nothing I haven't been dealing with for the past year in prep for this, but a new reality has set in now that I am finally here. I don't like to find myself face to face with these thoughts, emotions, fears & doubts, yet this is what I know:
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9
It's true, I'm not qualified for something like this. And I'm not fully equipped, but God has called me to do this, of that I am certain. He has provided thus far and will continue to prepare the way. AND...He promises to go with me, wherever I go!
So I will hold to His promises and I will claim His truth: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name; you are mine!" -Isaiah 43:1. "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19
God my prayer is for strength because on my own I don't have it. Increase my faith, push me to grow, & help me to find the courage to step out and trust You with reckless abandon.
4 comments:
I believe in you and what God has called you to.
"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and he will make your path straight." Prov 3:5-6
When the fear overwhelms you and all you have are the promises given to you, hold on tight, you are on a pretty amazing ride. Trust that God will direct your path so that the next step is right in front of you (straight).
YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! ONE STEP AT A TIME!
So somebody gave me this book full of verses and tons of encouragement and there is a good 3 pages dedicated to the word TRUST. (by the way... thanks for my book). Anyways... Satan is going to be fighting hardcore to get you to keep feeling exactly what you are feeling now. Don't forget to TRUST that, in these times of doubt and feeling like you don't have what it takes, God has this all under control and God has a specific reason that you are there... that He called you to do this at this time of your life. You got this friend! I'm so proud of you and I'm praying for you.
Go kick Satan in the butt! :)
oh hun....I'm praying for you and love you so much! I know I can't say much more than what you already know and what these lovely ladies have already told you...you know God has called you to this specific job, this specific place, this specific part in your life...He loves you dearly Kristy....and I'll tell you what always seems to come to mind when I pray for you: God will never lead you where He won't provide for you. Even though it's scary and Satan is filling your mind with doubts and fears, just remember your calling and let God take you on this journey. I'm SO unbelievably proud of you Kristy! You CAN do this - I believe in you!
Love your honesty. More importantly, so does God. You are in a good place. May not be safe, but it is good.
As you are preparing to face a new day, I'm praying you will understand HIS strength, HIS guidance, HIS presence in a way like you haven't in a long time!
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