Two phrases have been rolling around in my head this year. Each phrase spoken by different people at different times through different podcasts I was listening to, but both phrases have profoundly impacted my life and, more specifically, the way I interact with the promises of the Father. To ensure I wouldn't forget the words and how powerfully they spoke to me, I put a note in my phone with a running list of things I feel the Lord has spoken or is speaking. It's a note I revisit often, a note containing words that hold just as much influence, if not more, than the day they were spoken.
Months ago... I truly have lost track of how many, I was at home cleaning when I decided to put on a podcast by Heidi Baker. I'd never listened to her before but I had heard her name mentioned numerous times so I decided to check her out. Not gonna lie...it was hard for me to hear past some of her mannerisms as she spoke (personal preference here). But all that aside, I was completely stopped in the midst of my cleaning when she powerfully proclaimed this phrase... "God has given you promises but He is looking for those who will carry the promise to full term."
She had been sharing out of the book of Luke retelling the story of Mary, the mother of Jesus, and the Lord's words to her. A coming promise she was called to carry, but it would be 9 months of literally carrying this promise (King Jesus) - 9 months of feeling misunderstood, feeling scrutinized, feeling overwhelmed and uncertain, of wondering what the promise was really, of how it would all truly come about, etc. What Heidi continued to unfold was the reality that for Mary, the term of this promise she would literally carry was 9 months, but Jesus had called her and chosen her to carry the promise to full term. That's powerful truth people! What does it look like for us to carry the promises the Father has spoken to us to full term?
I immediately began to think through promises the Lord has spoken over my life, some of which I've seen the fulfillment of and some that I haven't yet. Some I carried only a short while until it came about but others I've carried for more years than I ever imagined I would. To those unanswered promises, it hasn't always felt easy or comfortable to carry. I've wanted to doubt if I'll see the fulfillment of them ever. But God has spoken them, and He has looked at me and said, "I want you to carry this one." Am I willing to keep carrying it to full term... no matter how long that is? Will I remain trusting in the One who has given the promise? Trusting that if He spoke it, I can count on it's truth and His faithfulness to bring it about?
Whew... I'm leaning in. I'm learning. I'm daily asking Jesus to deepen my trust - to teach me through these moments of practicing trust, leaning not on my own understanding but acknowledging Him.
Fast forward to this past March, I was listening to another podcast while spending a Sunday morning at home with the Lord before heading to church with my team. While I can't recall which podcast it was, it was Bill Johnson who spoke these words that breathed such an incredible hope and anticipation into my spirit. In talking about the things the Lord calls us to and gives us to fulfill the calling, he shared about how we don't always fully understand the "how" of what the Lord has called us to or even the "what" He has given us to fulfill the calling. Sometimes the Father places something in our hands and says, "You don't see yet what I just gave you but you will."
I'm not blindly walking through life here. I know the passions, the burdens the Lord has placed on my heart. I'm continuing to step into the gifts I know He's given me... to use these things to walk out these passions and burdens He's given and to bring Him glory through them. But my heart resonates with that statement "you don't see yet what I just gave you but you will." Let it be so.
I don't want to limit what the Lord is capable of doing through what He's placed in my hands, put before my eyes or carried my feet to. I'm working with a limited perspective over here. I can't see the same big picture He gets to see, but I'm daily asking Him "how can I use this for your glory today?" At the same time, there's a comfort, a hope, an excitement and anticipation in knowing that what He has given me, I only have a small understanding of what I can do with that BUT... as I carry it with Him, as I keep following His leading in it, there is much more it can do than even I realize!
This post almost sounds a little cryptic, like I don't fully have these thoughts fleshed out. And well, yep, that's true. I'm still leaning into these words, praying through them, asking the Lord to keep speaking - to give my heart and mind wisdom to hear Him, see Him, move with Him. I want to carry His promises well - carry them to full term. I don't want to give up, to be discouraged by the promises that have been carried so long without answer the weight of them is starting to wear on me. I don't fully see yet what the Lord has given me, but I will! I have said "yes" to carrying these promises and that means carrying them to full term... whatever that may be.
Jesus grant me faith and favor to carry your promises.
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