Blessed to Share Her Name

This week has started out much different than I anticipated it would go.  These past 48 hours have been a whirlwind of emotion that has left my head reeling.  Dealing with loss is never easy.  Losing someone you love deeply is tough, but losing someone you love deeply and being half a world away from your family as they walk through this… there’s just no good words for that.  Yet how blessed I truly am to have a family here that is lifting me up and walking alongside me in the absence of my biological family.  Jesus’ sweet blessings.

I’ve started this particular post about a hundred different times, in a hundred different ways.  Maybe it’s the fact that I’m even writing it that has me struggling for words - the thought of “I can’t believe she’s really gone” clouding my mind.  Just a mere 48 hours ago I received a call from home that my aunt, Kathy Joy, had passed away.  Unexpected.

A million thoughts have been racing through my mind these past two days and equally as many tears have been falling from my eyes.  Loss is tough, yet this one strikes a particularly unpleasant blow.  My aunt, my supporter, my prayer warrior, my family, and my namesake, gone to be with Jesus.

I wasn’t there when my parents decided to name me what they did… well, okay, I was, but no one was asking me to weigh in on the decision of the name.  Growing up I had a healthy amount of fear upon hearing the name “Kristy Joy” echo through the house - typically signifying I was in some sort of trouble.  I never did understand in those particular moments why my parents decided on “Joy” for my middle name or at least why they decided to use it most when I had fallen out of their good graces.  I mean, “Joy” and “you’re in trouble” just don’t seem to go hand in hand.  It never made a lot of sense to me.  Yet when I think about the name and why it was given, I couldn’t be more thankful or proud to carry it.

I have the privilege of carrying the name of my aunt, my mom’s sister and best friend, and truly one of the greatest human beings I have ever known - Kathy Joy Allison.  If it sounds like a beautifully happy name, well, it’s because she was a beautifully happy person!  Joy was not simply a middle name, it was in her DNA, at the core of who she was.  She loved with joy, served with joy, worked with joy, laughed with joy, and walked through even the deepest of valleys with joy.  Everything she did, all that she was, radiated joy.

Being here in Thailand and away from home and family has not always been easy, but one thing I could always count on was the prayers of my Aunt Kathy lifting me up to Jesus.  I didn’t have to question whether or not she was actually praying for me, instead, I could see and feel her prayers all around me.  There has been no greater prayer warrior in my life and for my life, than her.

I’ve learned a lot from my Aunt Kathy over the years, each lesson reminding me how blessed I am to share her name.  From an early age, I began to learn how life is so much more full and beautiful when you can laugh and celebrate - even the smallest moments.  Laughter was inevitable whenever Aunt Kathy came around.  She could tell stories better than most and had a knack for leaving you in suspense and then busting at the seams with uncontrollable laughter.  Joy radiated through every story she shared.

She LOVED music!  She is one person who truly seemed to live out life as a musical!  Whenever she was around there was humming or singing happening.  She always had a song in her heart, and I most looked forward to those moments when the song in her heart was loud enough for me to hear a few chords.  Joy radiated through every song she sang and harmonized to, and her love for Jesus oozed out of every melody, harmony and chorus.  She also taught me that no “Happy Birthday” song is complete without a harmonious “Amen” sung at the end.

My Aunt Kathy loved people.  She honored them with her words of encouragement, her optimistic spirit, her care and compassion, and her ability to truly see and hear people in those moments they needed someone to hear and see them most.  She modeled the love of Jesus in every relationship - unconditional, unending.  Those who’ve had the privilege to know her and be known by her can attest to the love she poured out - a love that truly brought joy to those around her.

JOY - it was her center, not simply a middle name.  It was a part of her very being.

My heart aches deeply at the thought of not getting to see her again this side of heaven.  What I wouldn’t give for one more hug, one more smile, one more laugh, one more encouraging word to persevere and know that she’s praying.  What I wouldn’t give for one more meal, one more game night, one more “love ya babe”.

I’m so thankful for the life she lived and lived so well - filled with joy and filled with Jesus.

I’m so thankful for the legacy she left and the example her life has been.

And I am blessed to share her name.