Two weeks ago was an absolute whirlwind. It was a week of “see you laters”, a week of packing life back up again, and a week that came with a lot of stress as I waited, and waited, and then waited some more for my elusive Visa to show up. In many ways, it was a lot to take in. Yet thru the time, and looking back on it now, I’m completely humbled, encouraged, and blessed.
Humbled.
I’m humbled when I think about what it took for me to be here now. And what it takes for me to be here. I’m humbled by the amount of love and support I received in my time back in the States. I’m humbled by the many “We/I pray for you’s” that I heard. I’m humbled by the financial support of those who’ve partnered with me. I’m truly humbled. But I think what humbled me the most in this last week alone was what my family is and was willing to do to see me come.
As many of you know, I was waiting up until the very last minute for my Visa to arrive so I could return to Thailand. As I got into my final week in Indiana, I began to grow a little anxious around why my Visa & passport hadn’t returned to me yet. Upon calling the Consulate to check into the problem, it became apparent they had held onto it and not processed it for no real good reason. Leaving me sitting on the edge of my seat hoping they would get it mailed back to me before my Monday flight. As the weekend rolled around, I was still without them both. I tried hard to hold onto hope that they’d arrive, but began to prep myself for worse case scenario, which would’ve included buying a new flight once the missing pieces finally showed up. And seeing that I was also supposed to be traveling back with my friend Kate, this was less than an ideal option. I was stressed, discouraged, and just really disheartened. I knew people were praying and so was I, but as each day passed by, I was losing heart.
Sunday came and how I had it figured, it had to get to me that day. Otherwise, there was just no way I was going to make my Monday flight just after noon out of Chicago (a good three hour drive from my house). I went to church that morning trying hard not to think about it, but left a note on our door before we headed out for the mailman to leave the package even if it required a signature. I didn’t want to risk missing its arrival. So you can imagine my disappointment when I returned home from church to find no packages had been delivered. My family and friends kept praying and encouraging me, “it’ll come, there’s still time”. Sunday afternoon came and went, still nothing. Family began to arrive for an evening cookout and it was such a refreshing and fun night together… all while in the back of my mind, I was hoping/praying for a miracle. Sunday night came and went… nothing. I tried running through more options of what I could do and how I could make this happen, but I was running out of ideas.
I walked back into my room and just let the tears out. I had bottled up so much stress at this point and there was literally nothing else I could think to do. Then, walking back out into the family room, I heard my mom talking on the phone. She had called a neighbor of ours, whom she didn’t really even know, but knew she had at one time worked at the post office in town (where we were hoping/praying my passport had maybe gotten to over the weekend). To keep a very long story shorter, that neighbor called a friend who worked at the post office and left her a message about my dilemma and missing passport. She then called my mom back and talked her thru what we could do. So at 5:45 a.m. the following morning, my mom got herself ready to get to the post office by 6 to see if she could meet up with one of the workers and discover if my passport was there or not. Twenty minutes later, my mom returned to the house with my passport & Visa in hand. And let me tell you there was a lot more tears!
It dawned on me in that moment just what it meant that my mom would do all that for me. One of the hardest parts of being on the foreign mission field is that it means being so far away from family and friends. It’s tough. Every visit back home is so sweet, and yet every goodbye feels like I’m putting them all through a lot. I’m no longer just a short car ride or even one plane ride away. It’s a long way to come, and it’s usually just once a year that I get to see my family now. So when I think about how my mom did all she could think of to see me get back here, I’m truly humbled. Missing my flight would’ve meant more days spent there at home. And getting my Visa & passport, would definitely mean “goodbye”. It never dawned on me until that morning how hard it must’ve been for her to help me be able to say “goodbye” again. Gosh the tears flow just thinking about that one.
Sitting there on the bed next to my mom with my passport in hand, through tears she just began to pray and thank God for the morning miracle and that I would now be able to go back to where He had called me to be. Humbled. So so very humbled.
Encouraged.
As I said, it was such a sweet time to be back home with friends and family. Each trip back is different but something about this particular trip just refreshed my soul in rich and deep ways. The conversations, the many cups of coffee, the time spent around the table with family, the many long mornings spent in a good book or just hanging out with Jesus… my soul was richly filled and deeply encouraged. I walked away from every opportunity to catch up with people just thanking the Lord for how He placed them in my life. I was so encouraged to hear about the journey each person is on and what the Lord is using them to do. And I was so encouraged in my times of really dreaming again with the Lord - asking Him where and how He wants to lead me and my team here. I was encouraged by the words He spoke and continues to speak. And I’ve been so encouraged as I look back and consider the journey it’s been to get to this place. Encouraged.
Blessed.
I am deeply, deeply blessed. By everything I’ve already written - all the people, by my family, and by this place I got to return to just last week. I am blessed to get to see firsthand what the Lord is doing on this side of the globe, as well as on the other. I am blessed to get to dive back in with these people I love and have come to feel like family with. I am blessed to learn and grow through the challenges each day brings in each season and to see what the Lord does as we try to keep trusting and following His lead. I am blessed to know that others are watching, praying, supporting, and sharing our same heartbeat. I am blessed to come from where I come from and to be where I am.
Humbled, Encouraged, Blessed,
And Thankful… incredibly, incredibly thankful.
I can’t think of a better way to live.
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