One thing remains...

I have actually stared at this page for quite a long time before typing anything.  Today has been one of those days I have struggled to really process or feel like I am processing well.  You see, today marked my final day as an NMC employee.

It is a part of life - jobs change, people move, life happens - so it is nothing so far outside the norm that will cause the earth to stop spinning.  And it is not the first time I have been gone from NMC, but the reality of this change was really messing with me.  This time marks a finality - something I have known would become a reality someday, but now that it had come, it was a strange feeling.  There is a permanence to it as I head into the next season God has called me to.  And for stepping away from a place I have worked nearly all of my "working life", I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it all.

I spent much of the day tackling projects that kept my mind occupied - cleaning up with the rest of the Student Ministries Team after two Summer Camps is no small task.  So for much of the day, I was able to ignore the fact that this would be my last day in office.  As late afternoon hit, so did the reality of what was coming.  Grabbing a box and packing up the office set emotions into motion I was struggling to control.  Then came THE moment, the one where I turned in my keys, shut off the lights, and walked out the door.  Yeah, that moment.

Climbing into my car with tears beginning to trickle down my cheeks, I glanced over at the box holding my belongings - a few picture frames, some coloring pages from co-workers' kids, verses I had hung on the wall, a laptop, and a few books... 10 full-time years in a box.  Strange.

It would be easy to stop there, to break down, to freak out, to feel lost...and, if I'm being honest, for a moment, I thought I might.  But as I sat there staring at that box, I was sad, yes, but even in the midst of my inner turmoil, I found my mind overwhelmed by a deep peace.  "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You" (Isaiah 26:3).

You see, I was reminded of something today as I sat in my car with that box, something I am incredibly thankful for.  My life is not defined by what I do (or don't do for that matter).  NMC and NMC Student Ministries has played a HUGE role in my life.  Outside of being a student worker in the office at Bethel during my college years, it has been my only job.  But it is not all that I am - it just happens to be the place that I worked.

Not so many months ago, I was listening to a podcast on this very topic - thank you Ben Stuart (Breakaway Ministries).  Diving into the book of Philippians and the story of Paul, I found myself deep into chapter 1:12-26.  The message centered around this one truth: what I am is of far greater importance that what I do/where I am.

Now before you think I've just used horrible grammar, let me explain.  When someone asks, "who are you?" the typical response that follows is, "I am Kristy Mikel, daughter of Dave & Pat Mikel of Nappanee, Indiana.  I work at __________ or my job is ___________."  But what I am is God's creation, holy and dearly loved, made in His image, and called according to His purpose.

When I define my life by the former...what happens when my parents are gone, when I change jobs or when someone comes along who can do what I do better?  My identity is never truly secure - who I am can be affected, changed, or destroyed by others/circumstances.  But when I am defined by the latter, where I am and what I do may change, but what I am never will.

The box, which has now made it's way from my car into my bedroom, contains a few items with a million memories, stories, moments, and experiences tied to them.  All of which have been incredibly significant and life-changing.  What that box represents, more than what it contains, means more to me than I can ever possibly explain.  Yet I can walk boldly away from this season and into the next with a deep peace because I am defined by what I am and not by that box and its contents.

On my drive home, I absent-mindedly had the radio playing in the background when I heard a familiar chorus being sung...

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains

Your love never fails it never gives up it never runs out on me (x3)

On and on and on and on it goes
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains...


Seems a fitting title and a fitting close to this day - in all the change, in all that is and will be different, in all that is new and exciting, and in all that will be missed... one thing remains - I know what I am.