The Deeper Questions of Life

So, I was under the impression that the days of telemarketers was long gone, but clearly, I was mistaken. It's been a while since I've gotten a call from one, so I'd forgotten just how annoyingly persistent they can be.

I'm not sure what "no thanks, I'm not interested" means these days. I was always under the impression that it means "no thanks, I'm not interested" not "yes please, tell me more!" Usually I just hang up on telemarketers ( I know, so rude). But, as I zoned out of the babbling happening on the other end, I began thinking about possible answers to this question...

"How do you get a telemarketer to HANG UP ON YOU?"

To my dismay, the telemarketer realized I had zoned out and let me to say "no thanks" for the fourth time before saying back "thank you for your time" and allowing me to hang up. So I didn't get to try any of these. But, if you're lucky enough to get a call, try one of these tactics and let me know how it goes!

1. Ask if they're selling anything that might help get rid of the mysterious rash that is beginning to form under your armpit.

2. What is, speak like you're on Jeopardy?

3. Begin by asking, "Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....breathe.....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

4. Hand the phone to your 3-year old daughter who is thrilled about having gone poopy on the potty.

5. Ask them to please hold until the next commercial break. Two hundred minutes later...

• Be impressed if they're still on the phone!
• Apologize saying, "I'm sorry, I forgot there were no commercials in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King!"

6. Or you could try this!


NOTE: If you are a telemarketer and you're offended by this post, just leave your name and home phone number in the comments section and I'll call you while you're at home having supper and talk with you about it.