Making Room for Silence

A three-part post in one. (This post is just some stuff I am continually wrestling through and trying to process how it flushes out in my life)

Making Room For Silence

Some of you may already be cringing because you simply don't like silence.

I'm the opposite. I enjoy silence. I actually draw strength from silence. Funny thing is, I don't practice it very much!

Silence can be really uncomfortable. Ever been in a room with a group of people, someone asks a question and then everyone just sits there dead silent? No one wants to answer. Eyes dart to the floor. There's always that one person who clears their throat or breathes too heavy and suddenly everyone looks at them with anticipation only to see them panic stricken as their eyes dart left and right with fear and are finally fixed burning a hole in the carpet.

Some people will do almost anything to avoid silence. To avoid it in the car, you play the radio. To avoid it in the office, you turn on Pandora, itunes, or some podcast. To avoid it at home, you turn on the TV. We're constantly filling the silence with stuff: radio, iPod, cell phone, internet, Facebook, people, meetings, movies, TV shows, etc.

Silence isn't just a matter of no sound. Silence is also a matter of no stuff.

We fill our lives with stuff...and lots of it. How many conversations did you have last week or even this week about how busy you are? It's almost like a sick competition we have to see who is busier.

Person 1: "I have to do this, this, this, this, and this!"
Person 2: "Yeah, I know what you mean. I have this, this, this, this, this, this, this, AND this!"
Person 2 walks away feeling some sort of "accomplishment" for having the most stuff going on.

I do it too. I'm totally guilty. Somehow I trick myself into thinking that if I'm not busy, I'm not being effective. If I'm not connected to stuff, to people, to work, to whatever 18/7 (because we have to have time to sleep) then something is wrong!


Understanding I'm Not That Important (Let's Get Honest)

Silence is not just a matter of no noise. Silence is also a matter of no stuff.

I'm not so important that I can't turn off my cell phone for a day. I'm not so important that I can't keep off of Facebook for a week. I'm not so important that I can't take off early from work every once in a while on Fridays. I'm not so important that I can't take a vacation without my cell phone, email, etc.

If I wasn't here, the world would still continue turning. If I wasn't here, people would still go about their everyday lives. I'm nothing super special. I'm just...me. And that's not negative, it's just reality.

I put such high expectations on myself. And I assume others have higher expectations of me than they probably really do. Or maybe I create high expectations in others because I make myself out to be something I'm not. I make myself out to be "the only one who can get the job done." Some of it is that I don't want to trouble others with stuff I can do myself. But some of it isn't.

We all like to be needed. We like knowing that people look to us to help them out, get stuff done, lead the way. But there's a danger in this, because after all, we're not superman or superwoman. As much as we may try to be, we're not. And eventually, trying to take on this role is just going to wear us down, fill us with resentment and a sense of failure, and render us completely ineffective.

All the STUFF in the world doesn't make me important. Having a lot going on doesn't make me a somebody. The sooner I can recognize my own unimportance, the sooner I can begin to get rid of some of the stuff I've been holding onto that I think somehow "makes me who I am."


Making Room For Silence or Adding to the Noise

I'm not hearing God. I'm not even sure He's hearing me. It feels like God is silent.

Ever caught yourself saying or thinking those words? I have.

Do I believe there are times when God is silent? Absolutely. I continue to walk through His silence in an area of my life...for nearly 6 1/2 years now. He's not saying "yes", He's not saying "no", He's not saying anything. He's just silent.

So yes, sometimes God is silent. But far too often I think we blame God for being silent when really maybe we're just being too loud. Maybe all the stuff I think I have to do or have (though not all bad stuff) is simply adding to the noise.

I want to hear from God, and I want to get myself in the best position to be used by Him. To do that, I need more silence in my life. Less noise, less stuff...more silence.