Kristy Mikel

The Greatest Christmas Gift

2011-12-27T10:21:00.000-05:00

It’s a question we’ve probably all been asked at one point or another. “What is the greatest Christmas gift you’ve ever gotten?” There are two different ways you can answer: 1) Go with the coolest or most unique gift or 2) Go with the most memorable gift that ultimately has some kind of amazing story behind it. Up until now, I wasn’t really quite sure what my answer was. I’ve enjoyed many gifts over the years that are great and memorable to me in different ways. But this year, I think I finally have my answer.

What is the greatest Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten? A pair of socks. Now, let me tell you why…

It’s been termed as “The Den of AIDS” or “Kenya’s Wild West”, but no matter the name you know it by, Salgaa is a place that people are no longer able to turn their eyes away from. While during the day it may look just like any other small Kenyan town, by night it’s a restless place for many of its residents. The main trade that takes place in Salgaa is in flesh – commercial sex work as it’s so often called. It’s a truck stop town and one of the biggest ones along Kenya’s main highway leading from Nairobi to Mombasa. Truckers would often stop over for a night before continuing their long journey cross country. As truckers came, so did the women…realizing it was an opportunity for “easy money”. Soon shops and other small businesses were brought to the area as well, and the next thing you know, we had a town called Salgaa.

Now that’s one side of Salgaa. It’s a big part of what the place is and how it came about, and it’s the kind of info that most people talking about Salgaa are focusing on, but that’s not the only Salgaa I know. Yes, the reality is, Salgaa is a dark place (yet you’ll find many of those all over the world, and not just in Kenya). But there is light in Salgaa as well, and you’re probably not hearing those stories!

Every Wednesday morning, we load up in a car and make the 16 kilometer drive down to this sleepy little roadside town. As we pull off the main road and onto the road leading into town, we’re soon greeted by the most beautiful smiling faces I’ve ever seen. You see, every week we get to spend time with some of the most incredible women I’ve ever met! Their struggles are real, the stories are incredible, their faces are forever engrained in my heart and mind. And what makes these women so incredible is that they’re realizing more and more every day that their God is GREAT! In fact, He’s GREATER THAN anything that is in the past, present or future. There is darkness in Salgaa, it’s true, but there is incredible light there as well! There are lives being transformed by the awesome power of a loving God!

And that’s what brings me to the greatest Christmas gift I’ve ever gotten.

It was going to be our last Wednesday in Salgaa for the year of 2011, and we were excited about taking some time to celebrate Christmas with the women. After a great home visit with one of the women, we headed off to Bible Study/Support Group where we meet with any who decide to come…all are welcome. It was a smaller group this week in light of Christmas and people traveling, but no matter the size, I always find myself encouraged by those who are there.

As I look around the room, I see 18 women. Eighteen women whose lives God has changed. Eighteen women who are struggling to make it one day at a time, yet are trusting in God to provide in the way that only He can. These women don’t have much. We consider it a miracle if any of them are able to save money beyond the current day. Life is tough for them, and it’s impossible for us to truly understand their struggle. I can see it and I can walk alongside them in it, but the weight of it is something I’ve never had to experience myself. Yet you won’t find them sitting down sulking about it and the hardships they’re facing. No, you’ll find them holding onto the hope they have in Christ and pushing forward making the most of the day they’ve been given…doing their best to simply get by.

After sharing with the women, taking some Christmas pictures together, and giving out a Christmas card and some lollipops to each one, we began to make our way back to the car. As we approached, I felt a light tug on the back of my arm.

“Christine,” (that’s what I’m known as here) “wait…I have something for you.”

As I turned to see who was behind me, standing there was one of the women from the group holding something out to me in her hands. With a shy smile on her face she said, “Merry Christmas,” and handed me a gift. In my hands she placed pair of white socks. Tears threatened to spill over as I nodded my head in thanks and gave her a hug. Then we got in the car and headed out.

If you knew this woman’s struggle, if you understood her story, perhaps then you’d know why this is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. Her life has not been easy. She is not proud of her past, even her recent past. She’s not proud of the reasons that brought her to Salgaa. She never wanted this life. She certainly wasn’t looking for it, but it found her nonetheless. Yet in the nearly 8 months that I’ve known her, I have seen a radical change in her. She is not the same person she once was. I still remember the first time we visited her home. As I sat next to her on her bed, she shared with us the darkness of her struggle, the side of the story that no one wants to share. I saw her desperation. I saw her desire for a better life. I heard her share that her dream was to someday live in a normal home with her family and have a normal job. That’s her dream.

Each day these women struggle to get by, to make enough to live on: for rent, for school for their kids, for food. So you can imagine how completely humbled I am by the fact that this woman gave me a Christmas gift. I am humbled to know and be among such incredible women. People may visit and say we’re making an impact, but the reality is they’re the ones who are changing our lives!

This Christmas may have been one spent without my family at home in the comfort of all that I’m used to…but this Christmas is one that I will never forget. This was the Christmas that I received the greatest gift I’ve ever gotten!

I'm Thankful For...

2011-11-22T01:37:00.000-05:00

I have been on this earth for a mere twenty-eight years. That's nothing really in comparison with all eternity. However, in those twenty-eight years, I have been richly blessed. As the Thanksgiving holiday quickly approaches, I'm reminded of just how much I have to be thankful for, and yet just how easily I take for granted each of those things. So as a reminder to myself and as encouragement to all of you, I give you 28 Reasons to be Thankful.

I'm Thankful For...

A mother and father who love and support me unconditionally. I’m recognizing more and more what a rare gift that truly has become.
Two sisters who love God, serve God, and seek to live for Him daily.
An extended family that truly loves and cares for one another and has shown me the picture of how family is intended to be.
At the risk of leaving anyone out, let me generalize and say friends. However, I’m incredibly thankful for my closest friendships that are truly rooted in and centered on Christ.
A roof over my head.
A warm bed to sleep in.
Food to put on my table every day.
The privilege of traveling through and experiencing this incredible world that God created! It truly is a thing of beauty!
The fifty-five little ones downstairs who keep me smiling, laughing, loving, and serving…remembering that this is SO worth it!
Nappanee Missionary Church (NMC) – being away from it has really helped me see just how much I love, appreciate, and miss it! I’m thankful for a ministry that is reaching beyond itself and making an incredible impact at home and abroad.
The beauty of a sunrise, sunset, and starry night.
Salgaa. That place has forever changed my life, and I am thankful to call so many there my friends.
The prayer support, financial support, and encouragement from everyone back home!
Different languages. Even though I may get frustrated when I can’t understand, I’m thankful for the beautiful glimpse it gives me of the uniqueness of God’s creation and what Heaven will be like some day!
Hope. I can’t imagine living in a place of hopelessness. I’m so thankful to know the hope that can be found in Jesus Christ.
Struggles. I know it sounds crazy, but I would not be who I am today without walking through and overcoming the many struggles that have come my way.
The living, breathing, and active Word of God.
Living in a country where I have the freedom to worship God.
The many who I’ve met here in Kenya who have welcomed me in as part of their family!
How much God has brought my way that has really allowed me to change and grow in my first 6 months here in Kenya.
The over 170 cards of encouragement from home that are currently hanging up in my apartment! It’s a daily reminder of God’s love and faithfulness.
Dreams. I’m thankful that God gives us His dreams and challenges us to join in them. I’m thankful that when one dream is accomplished, a new one is waiting to be pursued.
The legacy of the many spiritual influencers in my life, and for the way that God has used each one to challenge me and shape me into whom I am now.
Laughter. This life would be so boring if we never found any joy and laughter in it. I’m thankful for the gift of laughter and the way it can turn the hardest of circumstances into something to celebrate.
The gift of today. There’s not much we can really control in this world, yet how I choose to spend today is completely up to me. I’m thankful for the gift of today and that I have the chance to spend it loving and caring for others, making the most of every opportunity.
Students who are willing to passionately pursue after Christ whole-heartedly, who recognize that they have the ability to greatly impact this world for God!
The new creation I am in Christ.
The fact that each one of us is able to have our own unique journey with Christ. “He is not calling you to the same life that everyone else will live. He’s not even calling you to the same path that every follower of Christ will walk. Your life is unique before God, and your path is yours and yours alone. Where God will choose to lead you and how God chooses to use your life cannot be predicted by how God has worked in the lives of others before you.” -Erwin McManus

There are so many things to be thankful for, much more than what’s on this list. And God has certainly been challenging me to really take time to thank Him; to never take for granted the many ways in which He’s blessed me (blessed us)!

So that’s my challenge to you today. Have you taken time to consider all the blessings you’ve received from God? And more than that, have you really thanked Him for them? He deserves the praise!

So, what are you thankful for?

Am I Encouraged?

2011-11-14T09:49:00.000-05:00

Before I left home, two incredibly awesome people who mean the world to me, Janelle Prenkert and Kate Berkey, got together and sent out a letter to my friends and family asking them to write me encouraging notes/cards that I could open during my time here in Kenya. Words of encouragement are my love language. If you don’t know what I’m talking about when I say that, then I recommend the book “The Five Love Languages”…it’s a good read!

So, am I encouraged? I currently have 167 cards hanging all over my apartment that are a daily reminder to me of the love, support, and encouragement I have from home! I have been here just over 6 months…that means I’ve had a card to open almost every day! If ever I’m missing home, I need only to pick up one of the many cards hanging around and reread the message written inside! I have been more blessed by them than those of you who wrote them could ever know! God has been speaking through them and using so many of you to encourage me exactly how/when I need it most!

Just one of the many places the cards are hanging! (The total doesn't include pictures/drawings!)

I am blessed! I knew that before I came, but it’s all the more evident to me now as I consider how many people have come along with me on this journey!

When All You Can Do Is Laugh

2011-11-01T10:31:00.000-04:00

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my times of traveling overseas, it’s BE FLEXIBLE! Things will never go as you plan. Most times, there’s not really a plan, so you just have to go with the flow. I like to think that I do pretty well with being flexible with my time, expectations, etc. Besides, some days you just have to step back and laugh. That sums up fairly well my most recent adventure.

It was 6 a.m. on a Friday morning and I was hopping into Pastor’s car. The plan was for him to drop me at Salgaa to join up with the women who were heading to Molo town for their graduation. I didn’t have a clue what to expect (how we were traveling, exactly where Molo was, how long we’d be gone, how many would be there, etc., etc.). Yeah…I was definitely clueless! Pulling into Salgaa, I met up with the women and then two of them joined me in the back of Pastor’s car. He then drove the three of us to the next town where we got out and stood along the side of the road waiting for a matatu or taxi. There were about 15 other people waiting alongside the road with us, but when a small white taxi pulled up, all 15 quickly disappeared! Did you know that you can fit 15 people in a car made for 5 if you pack 4 in the front seat, 5 in the back seat, and 6 in the boot (trunk)?! Yeah, I wasn’t so sure either until I saw it with my own eyes! So now, I was ready. I knew what to expect when the next taxi pulled up, and I was completely prepared to squeeze in and find a seat…I thought!

Five minutes later, a second taxi pulled up (same size as the last) and myself and the two women I was traveling with were soon squeezed inside. I found myself in the front seat between the driver and one of the women, with the gear shift pressed tightly into my leg! No matter what, that gear shift wasn’t moving! So whatever gear he’d had it in when he pulled up, we stayed in the entire 20 minute drive to Molo town (uphill)! As if that wasn’t enough to get me laughing, you could barely see out the windshield! The defrost was broken and the window was fogging over, but if you closed one eye and squinted with the other while ducking down by the steering wheel, you could almost see clearly!!! That’s how we nearly hit a donkey! Yeah…I’m not kidding! Luckily, we swerved at the last minute into a giant, crater-sized pot hole. Close call! And if that still wasn’t enough to have me dying laughing (inside of course), then whoever passed gas twice in that insanely long twenty minutes sent me over the top! Honestly…15 people packed in a car and you can’t hold it! But the day was only really beginning!

When we arrived in Molo and finally fell out of the taxi (that’s what happens when you’re packed in tight) gasping for fresh air, I learned we still had a hike ahead of us. So we walked up this hill to a place packed with nearly 2500 Kenyans getting graduation gowns. Do you know how many eyes that is staring at the one and only Mzungu (white person)? Talk about culture shock! I’m used to being the only Mzungu, but I’m not usually hanging out with a crowd of 2500! Note to self: Hair down = bad idea!

We met up with the rest of our group, got the gowns for each of the women, and then made our way out to the main road. It was here that I discovered we’d be marching through Molo town up to some stadium where the graduation ceremony would be held. Bet you’ve never walked in a parade of 2500 Kenyans and one Mzungu before! There’s one word to describe it – PACKED! At one point I felt like I didn’t really need to bother walking because the people both beside and behind me were doing a fine job of pushing me along! Of course, they also nearly pushed me into an oncoming lorry (semi)! Yeah…we’re friends!

I was so thankful to reach the stadium after our 20 minute walk and was so tired too! Thank goodness for those chairs they had set up for us so we could sit! And apparently I wasn’t the only tired one! Yep…you can ask the random woman beside me who fell asleep on my shoulder! Yeah…we’re friends too!

The ceremony was scheduled to start at 9 a.m., so at 11:15 things were under way! After a few brief speeches (about 30 min. each) and a few presentations, the ceremony was “wrapping up”. An hour and a half after that, we were done! Next came the adventure back home.

We hopped in a matatu this time which can comfortably seat 15, but why seat 15 when you can fit at least 24?! From the back seat, you can feel the bumps the best, which wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for that stupid metal bar above your head! Kenyans are like jelly, their bodies just move with the vehicle not against it. But when I tried that, my head smashed into the window, hit the seat in front of me, and nearly knocked Julia out who was sitting beside me! My bad! Don’t worry, we really are friends!

Some days all you can do is laugh…and well, this was definitely one of those days!

100 Lessons in 100 Days

2011-08-22T10:04:00.000-04:00

Today marks my 100^th day in Kenya, which I think is reason to celebrate! But rather than throw myself a party I thought I’d focus on things that I’ve been learning thus far. So, I give you, 100 lessons in 100 days! These are in no particular order.

I am here because God led me to this place.
Tears are okay…there is plenty of growth in the valleys.
Having visitors come through is like getting to open a Christmas present!
I will not make it a year in Kenya without every piece of clothing I have getting peed on, spit up on, drooled on, snotted on, or having some other bodily function take place all over it!
Learning Kiswahili from the kids will likely leave you with the wrong pronunciation!
Joshua 1:9 is a driving force to my every day here.
Salgaa will always have a special place in my heart – no matter where I go.
When pointing out a cow walking on the road to the kids, the correct word is ng’ombe (cow) not mume (husband).
I desperately need to practice more Kiswahili!
The statement “Llamas are a social animal. They just want to say ‘hi’.” is a lie. They are in fact only interested in chasing me and making me scream!
The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.
I can never spend too much time alone with God.
Sour milk is not a delicacy that I or my stomach enjoys!
Ten minutes in Kenyan time really means anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour.
God can and is transforming lives in Salgaa.
I should never be surprised at what I might find here. My third week here, I encountered two white Amish women in the supermarket!
God is enough.
Encouragement from home (cards/letters, emails) is a greater encouragement than likely anyone could ever realize.
Never use Akamba Bus! (This is what Amanda Yoder & I took to Uganda. It was 4 hours late in arriving at the bus station in Nairobi & then it broke down & we stood in the dark alongside the road for 3 hours before it was fixed. A 12 hr. trip took almost 24 hrs. to make!)
Skype is one of the greatest inventions known to man!
No matter where you are or what you’re doing, the best way to start a day is in surrender to God.
Salgaa is a tough place to do ministry.
No matter how many times I see a zebra, monkey, giraffe, or any other “African” animal, I will always be amazed!
Tough days are going to happen. It’s up to me to learn through them.
God’s here and at work in Kenya, of that I’m sure. Yet what I am most certain of is that God’s here and at work within me.
Cooking from scratch is intimidating, but it’s not as hard as I always made it out to be in my mind.
When crossing the road, it’s look RIGHT then left. Not the other way around!
Wearing my hair down when playing with the kids is just asking for it to get pulled!
Wearing a skirt in the toddler area is ALWAYS a bad idea!
My shirt will always be seen as a convenient place for kids to wipe their nose.
Saturday morning extended time alone with God is possibly the greatest addition I’ve made to my weeks here.
Seeing kids get adopted from Baby Center is one of the greatest gifts!
Anytime I get to interact with students on a mission field, my heart is blessed.
Pincher ants should be classified under Kenya’s “Big Five”.
“The greatest hindrance in spiritual life is that we will look for big things to do. Jesus took a towel…and began with washing the disciples’ feet…The tiniest detail in which I obey has all the omnipotent power of the grace of God behind it.” –My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
Skin color, language, & blood don’t matter…these kids are like my own.
The movie “Meet the Robinson’s” said it best, “KEEP MOVING FORWARD!”
God is always speaking to us; it’s just that we don’t often take the time to listen.
Amanda Yoder will almost always use me as a shield when something is coming at us! Thanks Amanda!
Seeing Derry, Janelle, Katylynn, Jeanette, & Moses Prenkert in Uganda was truly a gift from God that came just at the perfect time!
Prayer is still the greatest tool I have to use here.
My dream is too small if I can accomplish it on my own.
Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in Salgaa.
Goodbyes are tough, no matter how long or short a team/individual is here.
Salgaa – no story is the same and each one proves the desperate need for God’s hand in that place.
Stepping outside and seeing the mountains in the distance are just another reminder of how great God is.
If Amanda Yoder and I ever got on Amazing Race we might not win but we would provide quality entertainment!!! (Our trip to Uganda felt like a leg on the Amazing Race)
Eating a mango directly from the peel can cause a form of poison ivy around your mouth!
Hearing the kids shouting my name when I walk by is one of the sweetest sounds.
I’m white. In case I could ever possibly forget that, I often find this is a form of greeting when I’m walking through the streets of town. “Hey, you’re white!”
Everything I had to surrender to get to this point has been and will be worth it.
Every new baby that comes through our gate is a reason to give God praise.
Keeping a flashlight on hand at night is necessary if you don’t want to find yourself falling over a table when the power goes out!
There is nothing quite like having a precious baby fall asleep in your arms.
“Usikule hiyo” (don’t eat that), “Usipige” (don’t hit), “Usisukkume” (don’t push), and “Hapana” (No) are probably my most used Kiswahili phrases!
Being caught in a rainstorm in Kenya is not as fun as it may sound when the roads are made of dirt and you quickly find yourself covered in mud!
God often speaks in the most unexpected ways!
I am in good hands and have come to acquire many Kenyan mamas who treat me as if I’m their own daughter!
Sitting on the balcony in the afternoon and reading is one of the most relaxing ways to pass the time.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 4:6-7
Personal space is sometimes a laughable concept here in Kenya.
Bugs crawling up out of the shower drain are somewhat of a normal occurrence.
“The LORD is with you, mighty warrior…go in the strength you have…” –Judges 6:12,14
Amanda Yoder & Judy Siegel were two of the best additions to two of my months here in Kenya!
“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense…” –Isaiah 12:2
Less of me, more of Him.
Risk brings opportunity.
When it comes to holding a precious little baby, two hours feels more like 20 minutes.
So Others May Live – this phrase rocked my world several years ago and has become a constant reminder of why I do what I do.
“I will open the way up before you, ONE STEP AT A TIME.” (Taken from a devotional book called Jesus Calling…thanks Margie for the gift!)
There is something awe-inspiring about taking time to sit and just listen to God’s creation all around you.
When all else fails, just shrug and look apologetic!
“The LORD is the strength of His people.” –Psalm 28:8
Desperation breeds dependency. I want to find myself desperate for God.
International worship services are like a small glimpse of Heaven!
I have been given an incredible opportunity. It’s up to me to make the most of it!
Prayer unleashes the power of God into our life and into the lives of others.
“If everything were easy and obvious, we wouldn’t need faith in our lives.” –Letters to God
“Accept each day just as it comes to you. Do not waste your time and energy wishing for a different set of circumstances. Instead, trust Me enough to yield My design and purposes.” –Jesus Calling devotional.
Camping in Kenya is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
Klutzy moments are so much more fun when someone else is around to laugh with you!
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” –Exodus 14:14
When God asks us “What is that in your hand?” (Exodus 4:2), He’s really asking “FOR WHAT is that in your hand?” Thanks Derry.
God will never be done breaking my heart for His people.
Coloring will always be fun no matter how old you are!
I am exactly where I am supposed to be “for such a time as this.”
You’re never too young or too old to be used by God. But what you have to be is willing.
I have been blessed with an incredible family, incredible friends, & an incredible body of believers who love and support me no matter how many miles are in the way!
Peanut butter is one of the greatest foods known to man.
The greatest cure for homesickness is to look into the eyes of a child who doesn’t have a home of their own.
Squatty potties are sometimes inevitable…might as well just embrace it!
Trousers mean “pants” and pants mean “underwear”. An important thing to remember when excusing yourself to “go put pants on” because you’re cold! Oops!
When a man starts negotiating in cows, RUN!
The greatest gift any one of us has to give to this world is our own intimacy with Christ.
“I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.” –Isaiah 42:6-7
“And my God will meet all (my) needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 4:19
Hakuna Matata! (It means “no worries”)
When a matatu says it seats 12, it’s really just a suggestion!
TRUST is something I’m called to do every day.
It's gonna be worth it all!

Adventure is Out There!

2011-08-20T11:33:00.000-04:00

There is a list of things I’ve always dreamed of doing someday but don’t know if I will ever have the opportunity to do them. Then there are the things that aren’t even included on that list because never in my wildest dreams did I even consider them possible! Camping in Africa is one of those things!

I had no idea what to expect. I’ve gone camping every year of my life for as long as I can remember. For my family, it’s a tradition that we love and look forward to. So when I knew that I was coming to Africa for a year, camping was something I knew I would have to forgo this time around. In comparison with what I’ve been given the opportunity to do here, not camping wasn’t really a major blow. So imagine my surprise when the Keter Family offered to take me camping with them…here in Kenya!

First of all, to put your minds at ease, there were no predators in the campground we were going to be staying at, unless you consider the fire ants a predator. Given my experience with them, I’d say they should possibly be considered one of the Big Five of Kenya! They were huge and merciless! The most dangerous animal around the campground were the hippos living in Lake Naivasha. But no worries, separating our campsite from the edge of the lake where the hippos resided was a small ditch with an electric fence and two guards with sticks! Yeah…

We only camped for two days but I had so much fun just being outside and enjoying all the new sights around me! As an added bonus to the trip, we went on a walking safari at a place called Crescent Island! A walking safari…where I got to walk around with wild giraffes, zebras, wildebeests, & impalas! Never in my life did I think I would have an experience like this! It was incredible!

Every morning when I wake up and step outside, I’m reminded of God’s faithfulness. As I step out onto the balcony of Baby Center and look at the mountains off in the distance and hear the kids rustling awake downstairs, I’m reminded of the journey God has brought me on. Every day is a new adventure here, an overwhelming one, but an adventure just the same. Every day is an opportunity that I always dreamed of having but was never sure if I actually would. Every day is an opportunity to learn from God, hear from God, and see God in new and exciting ways.

So I won’t worry about what adventure may be next for me. I won’t worry about where this road will take me. Instead, I will make the most of every day as it comes, remembering that adventure is out there & it’s up to me to fully embrace it!

A Lesson in Dancing

2011-08-10T11:09:00.000-04:00

I spent the majority of the day a nervous wreck! I took my time getting ready before heading down with the kids. After playing with the babies, joining the staff for chai, and then heading into the middle section to play with more kids, the nerves were still there. If anything, they’d only increased in number! I remained with the kids through lunch, helped feed them and get them settled down for a nap, yet the nerves still remained.

By the time I got upstairs and looked at the clock, I had four hours until the “girls” were supposed to arrive. I had no idea how many or who was even coming! This was going to be the first time we “all” (however many that meant) met together and I just didn’t know what to expect. I knew the ages would range between 18-24, but beyond that, everything was a mystery. I had so much anxiety about it, it was ridiculous! You know those times where God is opening up a door but the devil is trying to slam it shut with doubt and fear? Yeah, this was one of those times. Praise God that no one can shut what He has opened! But man is the mental battle a tough one when it comes to trusting God through those opened doors!

How was the night going to go? Who was going to come? Will this be a success? Will this be the start of some great relationships? There were so many questions plaguing my mind.

Six o’clock, that’s the time we’d said, but as six o’clock came and went, I found myself more nervous than before. Shocked is one thing I shouldn’t have been. Set times mean very little here, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but when you’re nerves are already on end…well, it’s not exactly fun!

I had almost resigned myself to the feelings of fear and rejection as seven o’clock rolled around until a familiar face popped up in my kitchen window. One of the girls had arrived! There were two more who followed shortly after. Once again my nerves were on end. My stomach felt like it was rising into my throat! What did Satan not want me to experience?!

I had made homemade pizzas, yet as we sat eating them it was awkwardly silent. I didn’t have a clue what to start talking about – my nerves were taking over! I was a miserable wreck inside with Satan telling me lies that I couldn’t do it and it was all a bust. What a bum. We finished eating and then it happened, an unexpected lesson.

The girls put on some Kenyan music and began dancing around my apartment. I awkwardly sat out opting to take pictures of them as they danced. Yet I knew that sitting out wasn’t going to help me build relationships. So when they asked me to join, even though I felt stupid, I tried. I felt awkward the entire time…it didn’t get easier for me. But if that is what it was going to take to build relationships then I knew I was just going to have to push through.

The rest of the night was a lot of fun. I can’t say that my African dance moves were very good, but I’m sure I was nothing short of entertaining! It didn’t hit me until the following afternoon as I was journaling about our overnighter together the lesson God was teaching me.

I’m here for such a short time, one year. And while that may sound long and feel really long each and every day that I’m here, it’s really not that long. And because of that, I can’t hold back! I don’t want to look back on my time here and wish I would’ve done more, experienced more, or tried harder to push through. Yeah, it’s gonna feel really awkward some days and I’m not going to know what I’m doing most of the time, but I didn’t come here to be comfortable.

I want to find myself secure in Jesus, not safe in comfort.

I know who I am in Christ and that He has called me here and that alone should give me the boldness I need to push through and give my very best. I don’t need to feel “safe” and “comfortable”, I just need to know that I don’t face each day alone.

Last week I danced like a fool and it was beautiful!

The 23rd Psalm

2011-08-05T02:00:00.000-04:00

It's possibly one of the most quoted passages of Scripture, one that we all learn growing up. However, this morning it's message was clear and fresh.

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely Your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Amen.

Five Smooth Stones and A Sling

2011-07-31T00:58:00.000-04:00

“A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. His height was six cubits and a span. He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing five thousand shekels; on his legs he wore bronze greaves, and a bronze javelin was slung on his back. His spear shaft was like a weaver’s rod, and its iron point weighed six hundred shekels.”

Goliath was intimidating. He looked undefeatable, like he could and would kill any man who attempted to take him on.

“Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, ‘Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not the servants of Saul? Choose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us. Then the Philistine said, ‘This day I defy the armies of Israel! Give me a man and let us fight each other.’ On hearing the Philistine’s words, Saul and all the Israelites were dismayed and terrified.”

Doesn’t seem like a very fair fight. Goliath is HUGE...literally a giant. He’s not only intimidating, but he can trash talk pretty well too. If how he looks isn’t enough to scare you, then how he talks should be enough to drive fear and doubt into your heart and mind.

Most of us know the story of David and Goliath pretty well. David was a mere shepherd boy. When sent on an errand from his father to take provisions to his three older brothers camped out for battle, he saw Goliath. Yet David wasn’t afraid of him. Or if he was, he didn’t allow his fear to be greater than his faith in God.

David, a mere shepherd, ends up talking to Saul, the king, and says, “Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.”

A shepherd boy versus a giant doesn’t look to promising.

“Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. ‘I cannot go in these,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I am not used to them.’ So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.”

David took five smooth stones and a sling…that’s what he knew, it’s what he did best, and what he was equipped to use. So that’s what he took.

Life brings us all kinds of circumstances. Many times, we find ourselves staring at the face of a giant…a situation that seems nearly impossible to take on, a situation that drives fear and doubt into our heart and mind. The match up hardly seems fair.

A great friend of mine, the best actually, challenged me to consider what my five smooth stones are. When you’re up against something that seems a lot bigger and stronger than you, when you’re staring down fear in the face, what do you come at it with?

I’m still on a journey of discovering what my five smooth stones are, but I’m not content to allow the giant to win. I’m not content to buy into the fear and doubt being thrown my way. I’m not content to accept defeat or walk away.

“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD himself, is my strength and my defense; He has become my salvation.” –Isaiah 12:2

Thanks Janelle for always challenging me toward growth and new perspective!

Battle Cry

2011-07-29T16:01:00.000-04:00

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" -Isaiah 6:8

"If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all." -Isaiah 7:9

Tonight I find myself burdened and praying for a generation to rise up that will say "Where you go I will follow, God send me!" It's not about going across the world, it's about going to your world...whatever that looks like.

...He Has Entrusted Us With Much

2011-07-26T00:13:00.000-04:00

A little girl, newborn, brought to the gate in the hopes of finding someone who can care for her…
…He has entrusted us with much.

Fifty-one little ones longing to be held, played with, loved…
…He has entrusted us with much.

A room full of women, searching for a way to make a better life for themselves…
…He has entrusted us with much.

A Sunday school room overflowing with kids who’ve brought themselves to church…
…He has entrusted us with much.

A family who’ve recently lost a dear sister, mother, daughter, longing for someone to come alongside them and show that they care…
…He has entrusted us with much.

Neglected, broken, abandoned lives…
…He has entrusted us with much.

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” –Luke 12:48

…He has entrusted us with much, and we are thankful. Praying today for God’s grace to guide us and cover us as we seek to be His hands and feet.

Praying the same for each one of you who reads this…He has entrusted you with much!

Just give Him what you have and start there...

2011-07-25T00:37:00.000-04:00

God uses what we have. But, until we offer “it” up to Him, He can’t use it at all.

Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?” Then the LORD said to him, “What is that in your hand?”

“A staff,” he replied.

The LORD said, “Throw it on the ground.”

Moses threw it on the ground… -Exodus 4:1-3

I stop there because really that’s all we need. “Moses threw it on the ground.” He offered up to God what was literally in his hand and God used it because He could…because Moses was no longer holding onto it.

I’ve heard from a lot of different people how “impressed” they are that I’m here in Kenya for a whole year. But to be honest with you, in my mind, it’s much more difficult than it is impressive. It’s been really hard, sometimes it has felt like it’s too hard. But every day I’m reminded by God to simply take what’s in my hand and offer it up to Him to use however He chooses. That’s how I got here to Kenya – it was a step of me taking what was in my “hand”, a passion that wouldn’t die after years of trying to put it off, and giving it up to God only to see Him open doors that I had convinced myself would be impossible to open.

I feel ill-equipped most days. I feel over my head. I feel overwhelmed by my surroundings and the things I’m hearing and seeing. And I am ill-equipped and over my head. But God doesn’t call people because they’re qualified, He only calls us to take what’s in our hand, give it to Him, and watch Him do amazing things with it.

Perhaps you’re feeling ill-equipped today. Maybe you feel like you’re in a place that you’re not even being used by God. Can I ask you a question: What’s that in your hand? AND, have you offered it up to God?

Sometimes what’s in our hand doesn’t look very pretty to us. Maybe it looks useless in our eyes, but we serve a God who’s in the business of taking ordinary things and making something extraordinary out of it! God wants us to simply bring Him what we have and start there. And if you’re willing to do that, it’s been my experience that He shows up.

Face to Face with HIV

2011-06-30T00:02:00.000-04:00

It’s taboo. Nobody really wants to talk about it. I have met with women and heard whispers of women who are “sick”. Sick with HIV. I have seen it create wear and tear on a body, but nothing like what I encountered today. Today, I sat face to face with HIV.

Weak, frail, distant, hurting, defeated…this is the reality of what I saw today.

I met a young woman suffering from HIV and never have I seen effects quite like this. Completely weakened by the battle raging on within her body, she struggled to sit or stand without help. Muscles tense, hands shaking, eyes “bulging”, pain clearly written across her face. I found myself completely broken and completely helpless to know what to do. So I grabbed her hand, smiled, and just sat.

But what I also found today was a sister and a mother caring for one of their own. They sit and massage her hands. They help her get dressed and bathe her. They feed her and care for her like few others would. They have been willing to put their own lives on pause so that she can live. What a rare and beautiful gift.

All too often those with HIV are shunned left for dead, on their own to survive. All too often we hear about the ugly side of HIV. Yes, it’s an ugly disease. Yes it’s running rampant in many parts of the world. BUT yes, there is beauty among the “ashes”. Not every story has a sad ending. Not every face goes unseen or unknown.

This young woman has a story, and the reason it is able to be written is because of the love surrounding her. Today, I sat face to face with HIV and it was beautiful.

Some pics from Kenya...

2011-06-29T14:00:00.005-04:00

Finally, some pictures from Kenya! To see more of the Baby Center and the kids, you can check out my album on Facebook!

There is Always Hope

2011-06-27T11:10:00.000-04:00

There is always hope

As I was reading back through my journal entry of Wednesday’s visit to Salgaa this past week, I was struck by this statement I had written down. It was preceded by this:

How blessed I truly am to not have to fight and struggle in the way they (these women of Salgaa) do. Not that it makes me better. But I cannot imagine the life they have for myself. I struggle to be able to put myself in their shoes. And what can I give to those struggling with a life so different from my own? I don’t deserve for them to long for my kind of “normal” life. More than anything, I just want these women to encounter Jesus and to know the grace that abounds in Him. I am not the answer to their struggles, and my personal attempts will fail. It is Jesus Christ alone who is capable of transforming their lives. So I am resigned to show and tell them of His love, His power, & His life. It is only through Jesus Christ that a modern day Sodom & Gomorrah such as Salgaa can be changed. I am not content to leave Salgaa alone, to give up when it gets hard and frustrating, to believe there is no hope – THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. Otherwise, why would God lay such places on our hearts if they were beyond hope? I will trust and I will beg for God’s Spirit in Salgaa.

Each week as I meet with the women, I visit a new home and I hear a new story. The things I hear over and over are broken dreams, a long for normalcy, and desperation for something more. Each story breaks my heart, yet after each one I’m reminded “There is always hope.” There is always a chance for change. There is life transforming power that has remained untapped but is still there for the taking.

After this past Wednesday, I found myself completely broken. YET, what I have seen happen in lives SINCE this past Wednesday has put back together the pieces of my heart that broke. God is moving among the women of Salgaa. God is moving among the women of Ngata. God is moving among the women of Kenya! I have seen Him begin to tear down walls that seemed impossible to break down. I have seen Him wreck lives that seemed impossible to wreck in any other way. I have seen Him reach down and begin to touch these women who have been desperate for something, anything more.

So yes, there is always hope. Yes, the journey toward hope is a difficult one. It’s not guaranteed to be without hurts, frustrations, fears…yet hope is always there.

Coming back from Salgaa last Wednesday there was a familiar song that got “stuck” in my head. “Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city.” I’m confident I’ve sung this song countless times, in fact, most of us have. This has become my anthem for Salgaa. I believe there is still hope for places such as these. I believe that God Himself is not content to leave them alone and give up on those who reside there. I believe that GREATER THINGS HAVE YET TO COME AND GREATER THINGS ARE STILL TO BE DONE IN THIS CITY – SALGAA!

Chased By A Llama

2011-06-17T06:34:00.000-04:00

You may think by the title of this post that I'm kidding, far from the truth! The story goes a little something like this...

On Thursday afternoon, Amanda, Judy, & myself decided it was a beautiful day for a walk. So we decided to walk from Baby Center down to Lord Edgerton's Castle. It's a beautiful property tucked away out in the "country" about a 10-15 minute walk away. Amanda & I had been down there before, but this time was different...much different.

On the property are a couple of llamas. There is a pin that they are normally kept in, at least they were last time we visited. Today, however, they were out grazing in the yard. And so begins our adventure.

We walked up through the gates at Castle and began making our way around the yard. It's gorgeous and there's so much to see and walk around. As we were walking, Amanda pointed out excitedly that the llamas were out grazing in the yard. They were on the other side from where we were. No big deal. Yeah, right! No sooner than she pointed the llamas out, the white one stood up, stared right at us, put its ears back, & started running. Where was it running, you might ask? Right towards us! The llama was charging ahead full speed and we were its target!

My first reaction was to freeze right where I was. I think it was a mix of shock and fear that kept me standing there trying to understand what was happening. Meanwhile, Amanda was ducked behind me (great friend, I know). Once it hit me that the llama was headed straight for me, fear turned into sheer panic as we bolted for the nearest escape. The only thing close enough to us was a stone staircase leading up to the Castle door. I'm pretty sure we took them two at a time just trying frantically to get away!

All the while, there was a group of Kenyan women just basking in the shade of a tree across the yard. Their laughter could be heard over our cries of sheer panic & terror! I'm sure the whole scenario was highly entertaining to them!

You would think that climbing a staircase would provide some level of security from said llama, or so we thought, until the llama put its front hooves up the first step! Are you kidding me?! Since when do llamas climb stairs?! I began looking around for any other means of escape if the llama would in fact make it up the stairs. We were trapped if the castle door was locked, though I was fully prepared to bust through if needed!!!

Finally, to our "relief" the grounds keepers made their way over to the stairs shaking their heads at us laughing. Then one of the guys looks at me and says, "Don't run. Llamas are a very social animal, he just wants to say 'hello'!" Yeah right, like I'm gonna think a llama just wants to be friends that sees me from across the yard and charges straight for me with ears back! You must be joking!

Reluctantly, we made our way down the stairs toward the llama that was waiting for us. "Just touch it like this," one grounds keeper said as he demonstrated how to be friends with it. I'm pretty sure that even as I pet it, it was trying to eat my face! Amanda wouldn't go anywhere near the thing. You gotta love the fact that she continued to hide behind us the entire time!!! The closest she got to the llama was when a tractor was between her & it!

Charging Llama

This is as close as Amanda got!

Never in my life did I think I would find myself getting charged by a llama! Just one more life experience to add to my journal!

A significant 30...

2011-06-13T14:14:00.001-04:00

A significant 30 happens today, my older sister Tricia is having a birthday! Now, I know she's not exactly excited about turning 30. In fact, she's probably thrilled with me that I'm telling you her age...but she'll be fine!

I have been SO incredibly blessed with the family that I have, and Tricia is a prime example of that. I am so proud of her & proud to say that she's the most amazing older sister in the world! Being here in Kenya makes me realize all the more just how much I miss her! I love her like crazy and am so thankful for her.

Tricia, you've taught me so much. You've always been an incredible example to me of what it means to persevere, what it means to trust and not doubt, what it means to embrace life regardless of what comes your way, and what it means to just enjoy being here (wherever here is)! Life would simply not be the same without you in it! Thanks for leading the way for me and setting an incredible example to follow after.

I love you more and more everyday! Happy Birthday sister!!!

33 Words to Describe Janelle

2011-06-03T08:00:00.002-04:00

Today is an AMAZING day! What makes it so amazing you ask? This girl...

Today is Janelle's birthday and I couldn't be more thankful she was born! In light of her 33rd birthday (sorry Janelle, I'm telling your age), I've decided to give you 33 words to describe Janelle.

1. Adventurous - There's not many things she won't do or try! (With the exception of talking with strangers...that was always my job!)
2. Amazing - I mean, c'mon...she just is!
3. Beautiful - I was gonna go with hott (with 2 t's) but maybe that's awkward for some of you coming from me. But let's be real...she is B-E-A-Utiful!
4. Compassionate - She cares for people unlike anyone I've ever seen. Her heart breaks for others and she has a way of feeling exactly what you feel.
5. Creative - I've learned a lot from her on this one! And as an added word, she's so imaginative!!!
6. Diligent - Everything she does, she does with excellence. She truly lives out Colossians 3:17, 23.
7. Discerning - She always seems to "just know" even without me having to tell her. It's a God-given gift for sure!
8. Encourager - She can encourage me unlike anyone else.
9. Energetic - If you've ever been around her for 2 seconds, you've likely noticed this!
10. Example - She's the kind of example that is worth following after.
11. Faithful - On multiple levels, she is a faithful friend who has always been there. She is so faithful to God. No matter the circumstance, no matter how hard, I have never seen her lose faith.
12. Free - So proud of her on this one & the steps she has taken toward freedom in Christ. She strives to live out Galatians 5:1.
13. Fun - It's impossible for us not to have fun together!
14. Hilarious - She keeps me laughing! She can make me laugh til I cry or pee! Yep...it's true!
15. Honest - She's never afraid to just be honest with me & tell me what's up. I value & appreciate that so much. She's not content to leave me where I am. I've never had someone in my life that I can share so openly with...and it's because I know I can trust her to be honest with me.
16. Inspiring - It's the effect she has on people. She inspires my life in a way that few others do.
17. Integrity - She is a woman of God through and through. A woman of incredible character & integrity.
18. Investor - What has been invested in her has been and is continually poured out in others over and over again. I'm living proof of that!
19. Loving - She loves me like family. She loves others with the love of Christ & it is so evident.
20. Loyal - She's been there through thick and thin. There is no one who has stood by my side quite like she has.
21. Lysdexic (Dyslexic for those of you who don't have it!) - Hahaha! This one just makes me laugh! She keeps my life exciting thanks to this! Nuf! Nuf! Nuf!
22. Mamasita - The word "mom" just isn't as fun in a list like this. She's a phenomenal one though! One of my favorite things is to watch her be a mom to Katylynn!
23. Multiplier - This goes hand in hand with investor. She multiplies herself in others & understands the importance of 2 Timothy 2:2.
24. Noble - As Proverbs 31 says, she is a woman of noble character, and example worth following.
25. Partner in Crime - I know it's more than one word, but I have to include it! We share some of the most randomly hilarious experiences! I can always count on her to instigate. I blame her for corrupting me!
26. Passionate - She knows how to put her whole heart into something.
27. Servant - I've watched her serve over and over and over again with no credit for it at all...and it doesn't even matter to her. She lives out Jesus, Others, Yourself.
28. Solid - I wanted to say ROCK SOLID. She knows who she is in Christ and has built her life upon His truth.
29. Spunky - What a great word to describe her! If you've ever met her, this one should've been pretty evident!
30. Strong - I've seen her overcome a lot in her life in the time I've known her, which feels like forever! Through every circumstance she has come out a stronger, better person.
31. Trustworthy - I can tell her anything, no matter what it is. I would trust her with my very life.
32. Warrior - I love the picture this paints. She truly is a warrior for Christ & for His heart!
33. What?! - This is possibly the best ending to a list like this! It doesn't need much more explanation than this!

Janelle, I love you so much and am proud to call you not just a friend but a sister. You are family to me and I am so thankful for you! Happy Birthday!!!

Encouraging words...

2011-06-02T01:39:00.000-04:00

I received hundreds of cards before I left for Kenya, yes, hundreds! There are almost enough for me to open one every single day for this next year!

1. That's awesome & still blows me away!
2. It's been so encouraging to have...a huge lifeline of support from home!

Today's card is one that made me laugh a lot...one definitely worth sharing! It comes from a good friend of mine and fellow partner in crime, Megan Rendall (aka: MegAR, like a pirate)! It said...

"Warning: My calendar says that today is 'International Hug a Hyena' Day. I do not advice this, however due to the circumstances and your current location, I say in the spirit of Disney Thursday... HAKUNA MATATA!"

Hahahahahaha! Thanks MegAR for the laughs...this was a great start to my Disney Thursday morning!!!

Risk Brings Opportunity

2011-05-30T09:00:00.000-04:00

There is not always an easy answer. I will try anyway. There is not always a clear path. I will keep walking. There is not always a happy ending. I will not give up. There are circumstances that seem impossible. I will not grow weary. There are mountains seemingly too big to move. I will not lose faith.

God loves to meet us at our place of risk. To risk nothing for God is the greatest risk. When we risk nothing, we really risk never allowing ourselves to see the mighty hand of God at work in our lives.

When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering.”

Jesus said to him, “I will go and heal him.”

The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”

When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following Him, “I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac, & Jacob in the Kingdom of Heaven. But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth”’

Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! It will be done just as you believed it would.”

And his servant was healed that very hour. -Matthew 8:5-13

God is a lot more personal and a lot more interested in proving Himself powerful than a lot of us realize. He wants to show up and show off –are we willing to invite Him to?

I am learning so much about myself now that I’ve been removed from everything familiar and comfortable in my life. I am learning a new reliance on God and recognizing that apart from Him showing up, I really don’t have much to offer on my own. God is my provider. God is the one who had called me and is equipping me. God is the one who guides my steps and it’s for Him that I risk at all.

As I continue to wrestle and struggle to find my place here in Kenya, I am reminded daily that God will never call me where He is not. He walks with me, goes before me, and makes straight the path beneath my feet. I have only to believe in Him, to take Him at His word. I have only to risk on His behalf, allowing room for Him to catch me as I step off the edge. I have no idea what’s in store for this year or even beyond that. I have no idea what’s in store for tomorrow, BUT I know the One who has called me is faithful and He will do it. (1 Thess. 5:24).

As my mom wrote to me in a card years ago, “Do your best and thank God for the opportunity!”

I may not know what my future holds here in Kenya, but I will do my best. I will love others. I will serve where and how I can. I will encourage and pray. I will try and not give up. I will risk and trust God with the results.

Thanks God for the opportunity!

The Road to Salgaa

2011-05-26T14:36:00.000-04:00

There’s a place between the Great Rift Valley and the coast that has my heart. More than any other place in Kenya, this is a place that can bring a smile to my face and tears to my eyes.

It was in 2009 that I first discovered there was such a place as Salgaa. A small town along the main road, it’s quiet by day and bustling by night. It was here that God began a work in me that could not be ignored. It was here that God etched faces and names into my mind that can never be erased. It was here that real life stories shared with me have never lost their sting. This is the road to Salgaa.

The road to Salgaa is marked by many things. There is brokenness, desperation, hopelessness, & despair. There are lost, blind, trapped, and hurting people. Yet the road to Salgaa is marked by more than this. There is hope, healing, forgiveness, and grace. There is creativity, ingenuity, vision, and transformation. This is the road to Salgaa.

There’s a place between the Great Rift Valley and the coast that has my heart. It is because of this place that my life has forever been changed. It is because of this place that God is daring me to dream His dreams and trust His leading. It is here that I find my own life transformed, never again to be the same. It is here, on the road to Salgaa.

Gaining Some Perspective

2011-05-21T00:54:00.000-04:00

God’s funny. No really…He is. Just when I think I’ll never get past the fear and doubt I’m facing, He reminds me that my life is SO blessed.

This is taken straight from my journal. I just can’t not share it.

This morning I went down to be with the little kids since I knew I didn’t have enough energy to play with the toddlers. Holding those precious little ones, I couldn’t help but think of their stories. I honestly don’t even know them, but I can’t imagine being abandoned or given up. I know what it is to have a family that loves and cares for me. They have been my lifeline for these first five days here in Kenya. I can’t imagine not having that or knowing that kind of love. The little ones here are lucky because they have caregivers who watch over them, care for them, play with them, and love them as their own. What about those who are abandoned and never found? My heart breaks for those who don’t know yet what it is to be a part of a family. I pray that God brings parents for all these precious children. As I rocked Ezekiel to sleep in my arms, I prayed that there would come a day when each of these children will have a mom of their own to rock them to sleep and reassure them that they are deeply loved and safe.

It’s good to get some perspective in the midst of what I consider a tough time for myself. Even now as I write this I’m gaining perspective. Yes, the transition has been difficult, but I know wherever life takes me I have an incredible support system of friends and family who will always be there for me. My tough days don’t seem so tough when I look at it that way. My worst night can’t possibly compare with what these little ones have faced.

I have a feeling this next year is going to be full of gaining a lot of new perspective. And with that perspective comes an opportunity for growth if I allow what I’m seeing, hearing, learning to actually change me.

I am blessed, that is certain. I’m praying that I never forget that. And I’m praying this can be a reminder to everyone out there of just how blessed you are too!

Week One in Kenya

2011-05-20T05:24:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe it hasn't even been a full week yet here in Kenya. Honestly, it's felt like much much longer. Yesterday was probably the longest day of all as I woke up early in the morning and found myself incredibly sick. I don't ever remember being so sick in my life. As the day stretched on, all I could do was lay around on the couch and/or my bed for the majority of it. It took a lot of work to stand or even sit up. Thankfully, the majority of that has now passed, though today I still find my physical body incredibly weak.

It's hard to really put into words what these first five days have been like. I know they've been much harder than I ever anticipated they would. I knew things would be overwhelming (or I thought I knew) but I don't think anything could've really prepared me for what I felt and still feel. Yes, the days are long. Yes, I don't really know much Swahili, so communicating with the kids is near impossible. Yes, I haven't really met anyone my age yet, so there's not been a lot of opportunity to really build relationships yet. All of those things make for a fairly lonely five days.

Yet in the midst of what I may see as tough times and adversity, God most likely views as an opportunity for me to grow. These five days (and probably first 2 months) have been and will be an opportunity for me to really understand what it means to rely fully on Him. Funny, I always thought I knew what it was to do that, but being here in Kenya where everything is new, I'm realizing more and more how self-reliant I had become. I've never had to walk through so many extreme changes all at once. And I've never not had my family & friends right there (in person) for me to walk with. So it creates a new layer of dependency on God. I have to rely on Him to pull me through...if I don't, I'll never make it through this year!

As hard as this first week has been up to now, I can't look back on it & say that I'd change it. I mean, I'd like to, but I know that I have grown through it. I know that my perspective is changing. And I know that there will come a day here in Kenya where things will just begin to fit. There will come a day when it feels more like home. There will be a day when I find myself speaking some Swahili and building more relationships than I probably ever imagined I would. So I will press on. Because I know that the best times here in Kenya are yet to come.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

Face to Face with Fear and Doubt

2011-05-14T17:01:00.000-04:00

Not even three full hours since landing here in Kenya & I have already found myself in tears. Why? Doubt & fear. While I'm sure it's only normal (plus add in that I've been up for 26 of the past 28 hrs. of travel) it's not a fun place to start.

Everything that could rise up to tell me that I'm not cut out for what I'm here for and all those doubts and fears of what's next are rising to the surface. It's nothing I haven't been dealing with for the past year in prep for this, but a new reality has set in now that I am finally here. I don't like to find myself face to face with these thoughts, emotions, fears & doubts, yet this is what I know:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

It's true, I'm not qualified for something like this. And I'm not fully equipped, but God has called me to do this, of that I am certain. He has provided thus far and will continue to prepare the way. AND...He promises to go with me, wherever I go!

So I will hold to His promises and I will claim His truth: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name; you are mine!" -Isaiah 43:1. "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

God my prayer is for strength because on my own I don't have it. Increase my faith, push me to grow, & help me to find the courage to step out and trust You with reckless abandon.

Saying Goodbye

2011-05-07T11:59:00.000-04:00

I've heard it said that goodbyes are a natural part of life. Not necessarily fun or easy, but a part of life just the same. There's incredible perspective that comes with goodbyes. It's often not until we say goodbye that we realize just how much a person or place has meant to us.

Well, I'm only still in the goodbyes phase, and whether permanent or not, I'm realizing just how incredibly blessed I have been and I am. God has blessed me with an incredible amount of people in my life who mean more to me than they could ever really know. I have been blessed with an incredible church, incredible team, incredible friends, an incredible Student Ministries, & an incredible family.

Goodbyes are hard...a lot harder than I thought they would be. Yet in the midst of them, I know that I am truly blessed and I'm so thankful for the perspective God is giving me through each one.

One Week from Today...

2011-05-05T07:05:00.000-04:00

In one week from today, I will be finishing up my retreat/orientation for Kenya.

It's hard to put into words the whirlwind these past few days have been. God has been blessing my socks of with an incredible amount of encouragement & love from others. It's honestly overwhelmed me, which, if I think about it is a really cool thing.

As I began packing my bags yesterday (and will finish today), I found myself staring at over 300 cards of encouragement, memories, stories, etc. that have been given to me to take along to Kenya. In one week from tomorrow, I'll finally be able to open the first one(s)!!!

Life has been crazy, emotions are on end, but one thing continues to remain true: God is the God of yesterday, today, & tomorrow. He is always there & has been guiding me (and really carrying me) through these past few days. As I go to Kenya, I know that He is there with me. He's clearly prepared the way & I am humbled that He has called me to partner with Him in Kenya.

One week from today could be intimidating as the retreat will come to an end & I will fly out next Friday. And it is somewhat. Yet the reality is, one week from today ends one significant chapter in my life (the waiting) and begins another incredible chapter!

"Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'" -Isaiah 6:8

Celebrating an Empty Tomb

2011-04-24T07:00:00.004-04:00

"Death has been swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." -1 Corinthians 15:55-56

Today, and every day, I praise God for an empty tomb!
I praise God that there is victory over sin and death.
I praise God for His love that is eternal.
I praise God for His grace that is eternal.
I praise God for His forgiveness that is eternal.
I praise God for His life that is eternal.

"Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!" -Luke 24:5-6

Can you imagine it?! Can't you just hear the Father as He looks down from Heaven at His Son laying in the tomb having been crucified for our sins saying, "Arise, my love! The grave no longer has a hold on you! Sin, where is your victory? Death where is your sting? Hell has been defeated! Arise, my Son, the victorious King!"

There is no greater reason to celebrate today and every day! Sin and death have been defeated! We can live free! We are called to freedom!

"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." -1 Corinthians 15:58

The LORD is risen! He is risen indeed!

An Opportunity to Partner in Kenya

2011-04-22T22:20:00.001-04:00

So several people have been asking me if they can still give support even though I've reached my goal. My response, absolutely! All money raised (that I go over on my budget) will be used for the ministry in Kenya.

However, for those of you still wondering, let me introduce you to another incredible opportunity to partner with the ministry taking place in Kenya...

April Hershberger is the daughter of one of my co-workers at Nappanee Missionary Church. She has also applied and been accepted to serve in Kenya. Unlike me, her commitment is a three year deal! She's going through the Missionary Discipleship Program, which is an amazing opportunity! Along with that is an incredibly large amount of support she needs to raise. April's goal is to get on the field sometime this October. This would be incredible because it would mean having someone to serve alongside. She will primarily be working at the Baby Center in Ngata, where I'll be living as well. And I couldn't be more excited about the possibility of working with her!

But like I said, the financial support is a big chunk to raise. So, would you consider directing any gifts you want to give her way? She has an account set up with WGM where gifts can be sent directly (PO Box 948, Marion, IN 46952-9973) or you can send gifts to Nappanee Missionary Church to her account there (PO Box 110, Nappanee, IN 46550). She is looking for one-time gifts or monthly supporters, and any amount would help tremendously!!!

If you have any questions concerning April's ministry in Kenya, feel free to leave me a comment or you can touch base with her at april.hershberger@wgm.org.

We're so excited to get on the field and dive in to the place that God has clearly prepared us for & called us to! Thanks for your unending support and encouragement!!!

An Update on Kenya

2011-04-18T21:03:00.000-04:00

I've been meaning to get this up for a little while now. Here's my most recent update that was sent out. As a reminder, if you'd like to receive email updates from me on what's going on in Kenya & how you can best be praying (aside from what I put on this blog) shoot me an email or leave a comment below!

Dear Family & Friends,

Thank you doesn’t seem like enough to say in response to the overwhelming support you’ve given me, both financially and in prayer. Through your monthly pledges and one time gifts, I have reached my support goal of $16,000 in a mere 4 months! There is no other explanation other than to say God is my provider!

I wanted to be sure to send you all at least one more update before I head out. While I still don’t have tons of new info on what I’ll be doing, I’ll share with you what I know. I will officially be flying out on Friday, May 13th after my Orientation Retreat in Marion, IN (May 9-12). I’ll be housed in an apartment at the Baby Center, allowing me to spend time giving plenty of love to the children & workers there. While this will not be my primary job, I’m still unsure what my ministry in Salgaa will look like. I will have a better idea once I’m officially on-site. But I’m confident that God has prepared a place for me there & I’m excited to go and be a part of the ministry He’s already doing.

I feel like I’ve already learned so much, from when I first applied back in April 2010 to when I got accepted this past September to now. This journey has been one of surrender yet incredible growth. I’m confident that what God has been preparing me for is much bigger than just 12 months in Kenya. And while there’s a level of uncertainty, I refuse to let fear get in the way.

More than ever, I recognize the importance of prayer in this journey. Without it, all my efforts will fail. I need God to show up, to lead the way, to open the doors. So here are some ways you can join with me in prayer:

· Direction— Once I’m actually on the field is when we’ll determine exactly what kind of work I will be doing. Pray for God to make clear the opportunities He has planned out for me. Pray that I, along with WGM & those on the field I’ll be working with, will have eyes to see them and courage to step out and take them.

· Connection— Pray for the relationships I’ll be building with the women of Salgaa, the babies at the Baby Center, & others I will meet. Pray that I will make the most of these relationships and the opportunity I have to invest in, and love on others. Pray that I would be able to “find my fit” quickly as this will all be new to me. Pray that I will be able to find those who I can be challenged by, encouraged by, and who I can grow with.

· Renewed Spirit— I’m not going to sugar coat that these past four months have been incredibly busy, really this entire year has been. And there have been times where I’ve found myself almost too overwhelmed to function. While I know that life just tends to be busy for most people anymore, I am praying that once I leave for Kenya I will have the opportunity to find some rest. I’m looking forward to a change in pace. My prayer is that these 12 months will be filled times to be refreshed, renewed and gain a new recognition of who God is, who I am, and what He has called me to.

· That God will be glorified— Ultimately, I’m not going to Kenya for myself. Yes I’m excited for the change and I’m anxious to go back to a place that I dearly love. But I am going to Kenya if for no other reason than to glorify God with my life. I recognize that the passions and dreams He’s given me are not the same as He’s given everyone else. And if Kenya is where God is calling me to go, then I want to go and give Him everything I’ve got to bring Him glory.

I am so excited for this incredible opportunity! Some days, I still can’t believe that I’m actually going back. I’ve traveled a lot of places in my life, but this will be my first time ever returning to the same exact place. I’m anxious to reconnect with those I met back in 2009. And I am beyond excited to return to a place that is near and dear to my heart!

For now, I’m praying that I can make the most of these next 5 weeks and that my transition from NMC will be a smooth one. Thank you all again so much for your generous support! I am truly blessed to have so many people who have been willing to come alongside me! Thank you!

Thank you to everyone whose been supporting me along the way. I've literally been overwhelmed by it! I'm so thankful for this incredible opportunity and for the incredible support that has come along with it!

Finding God's Will For My Life

2011-03-29T21:06:00.000-04:00

I kind of feel like that's the million dollar question anymore. "What is God's will for my life?" We've all wondered it at one point or another. We stress over it, lose sleep over it, question all that we know in light of it, etc., etc. It's one of those things that could be a whole lot easier if a big neon sign would come down from the sky pointing us in the right direction. Or how about that green line that's on all those Fidelity Life Insurance commercials, marking out a path for it's users? You know, back in the day, God used burning bushes and even donkeys to let people know His will. Why not now?!

Bottom line: it's something we all search for at some point or another.

Yet in the midst of all my searching, I've been reminded more and more lately that I already know it. Okay, maybe not in the kind of detail that I'd like it to be spelled out, but I know it nonetheless.

Going back to a journal entry from last year, I wrote this:

My life was always intended to be about loving people to Jesus.

The more I read and reread that, the more simple and "duh" it sounds. But though simple-sounding, how easily I forget that to be my goal and my calling. Some people spend their entire life trying to figure out what they should be doing, so what am I going to do with the calling I know God has given me?

Will I be a missionary in Africa? Maybe. Will I have the opportunity to be a part of cross-cultural youth ministry? Who knows?! Will I remain at NMC in Student Ministries? I'm not sure. But regardless of where I'll be or what I'll be doing with my life...

My life is meant to be about loving people to Jesus, loving others regardless of race, religion, age, social class or location, in the same way that Jesus loves.

What more do I need to know, right now, about what I should be doing?!

How true that last sentence is. What more do I need to know? I know that God has called me to love, serve, encourage, show compassion, & care for others. I know that He's called me to love people like He does. And the liberating thing in all of that is, it's up to me how I choose to live those things out each day. The where and how are up to me!

Yes, I believe in having a plan (to an extent) and not just taking it day by day with no tangible goals. Yet at the same time, I believe that rather than spending my time worrying about finding the one exact clear cut path that God has for me, I am to make the most of every opportunity to do what I know God has called me to do.

Kenya is just another avenue to do those very things, in whatever ways I choose to do them. NMC Student Ministries has been just another avenue for me to live these very things out. Whatever may be around the corner will be another avenue for me to put into practice those things that God has called me to.

I don't know a specific "Go Here, Do This" will for my life. So if that's what I need to find, well, then I'm behind on getting there! But I trust that the One who has called me is faithful and I trust that in His time the bigger picture will all make sense. In the meantime, I'm going to focus on what's here in front of me right now & not allow my current opportunities to slip by me.

A choice to make...

2011-03-16T09:18:00.000-04:00

I'm inside a cottage with windows all around. It's daylight out yet no light shines in. As I run through the cottage frantic and searching, all that scares me can be found. I'm overwhelmed with fear. It doesn't make sense. How did I get here?

Suddenly, the front door opens. The light is subtle at first, as the door opens barely even a crack. I sit down preparing for what's to come. The room is suddenly filled with light.

Across from me sits everything I believe in and trust, with tears streaming down his face. I'm once again overwhelmed but this time not with fear but understanding. I begin to see what I didn't see before. The picture around me becomes more and more clear. All that once held me back and clouded my vision begins to fade.

We've been sitting for what only feels like moments, yet as I look out the windows everything is dark. But new light has filled the cottage. I begin to breath a sigh of relief, but the exhale is slow. There's still a fear, an apprehension to completely let go. In front of me his hands are opened wide, waiting. Yet the look on his face is gentle, understanding yet in the same moment pleading. There's a look in his eyes begging me to trust & rely.

Next to him sits all that I ever thought I wanted. I never realized she had entered the room until this moment. Fear begins to overwhelm me again, yet as I look in his eyes, fear drops to the floor like a brick. With fear gone, there is hesitancy. I look again into his eyes yet the hesitancy remains. The choice is mine, it's not been made. Trust in all that I believe or go with all I ever thought I wanted.

I open my eyes and realize the choice is still mine, it's not been made.

A Welcome Home to Remember

2011-03-15T09:08:00.000-04:00

Saw this first thing this morning & it just makes me smile!

Sunday 7: A Realization

2011-03-13T15:30:00.000-04:00

Today's "7" is not about lists or bullet points. In fact, today's "7" will likely be the last installment of this mini series.

I came to the realization last Sunday that Kenya is getting closer that I thought it was. As of today, I'm 7.5 weeks from leaving. Seven. What once seemed like forever away is now getting closer and closer. It's exciting and frightening all at the same time.

Someone asked me not long ago if I was ready for my life to be turned upside down. Now they asked with Kenya in mind, a well intentioned question. But it got me thinking. I would like to think that everyday my life is turned upside down. I don't ever want to get too comfortable, too complacent. Each day, I want to find myself turned upside down by the grace of God. Each day I want to be at risk of needing God to show up or else I'm left looking like a fool. That's scary for me to say, even pray!

I don't want a commitment like Kenya for a year to be the point at which I live radically for Christ. Each day, I want my life to be a pursuit of who God has called me to be, wherever God has called me to be. I want to know what it is to rely on Him fully, loving Him with all that I am, trusting Him in circumstances big and small. I want to find myself in need of a Savior and compelled by the unconditional love He pours out on me. I want my life to show that He is faithful, He is truth, He is living, and He is active.

Yeah, Kenya is 7.5 weeks away & I plan to make the most of each one. But God, help me remember that today is just as important as 7.5 weeks from now.

Trading lies for Truth

2011-03-10T08:19:00.000-05:00

How can a young man keep His way pure?

By living according to Your word.

I seek you with all my heart;

do not let me stray from Your commands.

I have hidden Your word in my heart

that I might not sin against You.

Praise be to You, O LORD:

teach me Your decrees.

With my lips I recount

All the laws that come from Your mouth.
I rejoice in following Your statutes

as one rejoices in great riches.

I meditate on Your precepts

and consider Your ways.

I delight in Your decrees;

I will not neglect Your word.

-Psalm 119:9-16

I'm convinced that many of us are trapped in the lies of Satan because we don't really know the truth and the freedom that comes from knowing it. Many of us have heard the truth, but because we ourselves don't know it, because it hasn't penetrated our heart (not just our mind), we are stuck believing the lies of Satan.

Do we know that...

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." -Galatians 5:1

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Jesus Christ the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." -Romans 8:1-2

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." -Ephesians 2:8-9

"And we know that in all these things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:31

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." -Ephesians 2:10

I have the finger pointing right back at myself on this one. I'm inundated every single day with the lies Satan throws my way: I'm not good enough. I have to earn God's grace, love, & forgiveness. God can't use someone as messed up as me. I'm not free from my past. God is unconcerned with me. God's out to get me. God's not listening to me anymore. God can't hear me. I'll never be who God has called me to be. Lies, lies, lies.

There are all kinds of lies out there. And if you listen to a lie long enough, it begins to sound a lot like the truth. So I know this: "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will KNOW THE TRUTH, and THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE." (John 8:31-32)

If I want to get rid of the lies in my life, I've got to know God's truth. And not just read it and say "yeah, I believe that". I've got to KNOW it!

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly..." -Colossians 3:16

I want to be free from the lies I've been believing. I want to recognize them for what they are and live freely in God's grace, love, & forgiveness. I want to know God's truth so that when fear, doubt, & lies set in, I have something to stand on.

God's Word says, "Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, YOU MAY BE ABLE TO STAND YOUR GROUND." -Ephesians 6:11-13

Part of that armor is "...the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God..." -Eph. 6:17

We can't get there are our own. We can't walk around in this life living free as we're called to live without God's truth living in us. I can't beat Satan's lies if I don't KNOW God's truth.

God, help me to know Your truth, so that Your truth can set me free!

Sunday 7: A Promise

2011-03-06T21:02:00.000-05:00

Greater is He that is in you...(1 John 4:4)

You know those moments when you "turn a corner"? When you come to realize something you should've realized a long time ago?

No doubt this will sound elementary to some people, but I feel like I've had a "light bulb moment"...one of those where things have finally clicked. And what caused it? A song we sang this morning that I've probably sung a hundred times, Our God is Greater. You know the one...

Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other
Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God

It's that first line of the song that is sinking in more and more. See, life is a whirlwind right now. I have a lot of apprehension yet excitement, a lot of fear and doubt yet I'm trying to trust and obey. And that line "Our God is greater" keeps running through my mind. Yeah, I'm afraid...but God is greater than those fears. Yeah, I have doubts...but God is greater than those doubts. Yeah, I don't entirely understand all that's coming my way...but God is greater than my understanding.

So I will continue to live by those words, that God is greater.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose...What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:28, 31

Those first seven words at the top of this page are a promise that I will continue to claim each and every day!

Sunday Seven: 7 Words to Live By

2011-02-27T21:20:00.000-05:00

"Love the LORD your God with all..." (Matthew 22:37)

That may seem like a funny place to end that verse. After all, what follows it is good stuff, powerful stuff, legit stuff. Yet when I look at those first seven words, that really sums up what God asks of me, of us.

He never says "with some", "with part", "with most"...you get the idea. He says, "WITH ALL". But I don't always live like that. Too often, I go part way or most of the way and then stop. I give some of what's in my hands but keep a few things back for me to control and hold onto.

The truth is, the best way and the only way I can love God is with EVERYTHING, holding nothing back.

So as incomplete as that verse may look, if I don't pay attention to the "ALL" then the rest of it doesn't really mean a whole lot.

What If...

2011-02-23T07:30:00.002-05:00

"What" and "if" two words as non-threatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life. "What if?..."

-Letters to Juliet

I often find myself impacted by movies I watch; I just never imagined it would be a chick flick that sent my head spinning! "WHAT IF?..." has been a question that has been haunting me and pushing me forward. "WHAT IF?..." questions who I am and how I live. "WHAT IF?..." can bring regret and at the same time dares us to dream. "WHAT IF?..." rivals what is, what was, and what could be. It's dangerous to ask, yet challenges us to move forward. It dares us to take another step, another leap, another chance. It calls us to risk.

Intimidated, petrified, anxious, excited, & completely out of my element are just a few of the words that describe what I'm feeling as I continue to wrestle with what my next steps are as I try my best to TRUST and follow God's leading.

WHAT IF I don't go?
WHAT IF I do?
WHAT IF I'm not ready?
WHAT IF I am?

I don't know the answers, but I know that I am counting the costs (all of them) and I want to seek after God with all my heart. So rather than letting "WHAT IF" hold me back and make me second guess, I choose to let it be a springboard that pushes me forward, dares me to dream, and keeps me from living as I've always lived.

Sunday Seven: 7 Random 7's

2011-02-20T15:00:00.001-05:00

7 Songs I've been listening to a lot these days:

You Are More by Tenth Avenue North
I Will Follow by Chris Tomlin
You Can Have Me by Sidewalk Prophets
Waiting Room by Jonny Diaz
How Great Is the Love by Meredith Andrews
Storms In Africa by Enya
Revelation Song by Kari Jobe

7 Places in the world I've always wanted to visit:

Antarctica - I have no desire to be cold, but it's the last continent I need to visit to have been to all 7!
Egypt - I've always wanted to see the pyramids.
Israel - I've always wanted to visit the Holy Land.
India - I've heard incredible stories, seen incredible pictures, but I want to experience it for myself.
Greece - Again, seen incredible pictures but have always wanted to just see it for myself.
Sudan - Not for vacation or sightseeing purposes.
Philippines - Not for vacation or sightseeing purposes.

7 Things I've dreamed of doing someday:

Skydive
Bungee Jump
Visit Victoria Falls (Zimbabwe, Africa)
Write a book
Get married & start a family
Visit Tanzania/Kenya during "The Great Migration"
Read 52 books (1 book a week) in a year. Might sound cheesy, but I've always wanted to accomplish that (and I'm talking chapter books). I just don't seem to have as much time to read as I'd like.

7 Favorite games of all time:

Clue
Hide-n-Seek
Capture the Flag
Candy Land (fav. game as a kid)
Ultimate Frisbee
Sorry
Balderdash (it's a lying game...I know that doesn't say much for my character, but you haven't really lived until you've played this game with my family...HILARIOUS!)

7 Favorite Verses:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Colossians 3:15-17
Matthew 6:33
Isaiah 42:6-7
John 15:16
Isaiah 43:1
2 Corinthians 5:17

7 Books I love to read over and over:

The Bible
Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis (I'm counting them all as "1")
I am not but I know I AM by Louie Giglio
The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus
Crazy Love by Francis Chan
The Boxcar Children (book one) by Gertrude Chandler Warner...childhood favorite
You Are Mine by Max Lucado (kids book, but I love it)

7 Books that have deeply challenged me (some repeats):

The Bible
Red Moon Rising by Pete Greig & Dave Roberts
God On Mute by Pete Greig
Not For Sale by David Batstone
The Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus
Silence by Shusaku Endo
Radical by David Platt

7 People I'd like to see post their answers to these lists:

Derry Prenkert
Janelle Prenkert
Dan Weiss
Alyssa Walter
Kate Berkey
Megan Rendall
...And whoever else would like to! (yeah...this answer might be cheating...but it's my blog!)

Books, Books, Books

2011-02-15T19:05:00.000-05:00

I LOVE BOOKS! Okay, so I wasn't big on them in school when I knew I HAD to read them, but it's so relaxing to me now to be able to sit down and read a good book. I finished my last book in 4 days (yep...I actually had a good amount of time to sit down and plow through it...so fun)!

As I was looking over my reading list, I recognized that I am in need of some more book suggestions. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for! I have plenty of non-fiction books on my reading list that I'm slowly working through. But I like to mix in some fiction books as well. Anybody read anything good recently that you'd recommend? What are some of your favorite authors that I should consider checking into?

Sunday Seven: 7 Influencers

2011-02-14T21:49:00.000-05:00

Yep...I forgot to post again on Sunday!

I feel so incredibly blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. While I could probably go on forever listing off people who have impacted me, encouraged me, or invested in me over the years, I'll start off with seven!

1. My parents (I can't list one without the other) - There have been no greater influences in my life than my parents. Their opinion is what matters most to me. Their advice is most important to me. They get me, love me despite my quirks and imperfections, and encourage me to just be me. They are incredible examples of what it looks like to follow after God. I am who I am because of their influence and example.

2. Tricia - My older sister and I are two years apart and currently a lot of states apart (she lives in Arizona), yet despite the two years between us & all those states, she's been an incredible influence in my life. She works harder than anyone I know; she doesn't know how to give just 90% to something...it's all or nothing. I hate that she's so far away yet I love that no amount of distance can interfere with the influence she has on me. She loves me right where I am & encourages me in the most unexpected ways. Through thick & thin she's been there & I am blessed to have her in my life.

3. Beth - My younger sister and I are five years apart. Most people might think we might not have much in common. It's true that we're incredibly different from each other (people somehow think she's really quiet...but I know the truth) yet despite our differences, she never fails to keep me laughing. She marches to the beat of her own drum and has always been comfortable in her own skin. She embraces who she is and I love that about her. I know that I'm loved and accepted just as I am by her, and she loves and accepts others just the same. I love her so much and am thankful for her!

4. Janelle - Without question, Janelle is like another sister to me. She's the greatest friend in the world and has influenced me more than any other person outside my actual family. She was my very first small group leader (10th & 11th grade year), co-worker in the Student Ministries Office, and has been an incredible mentor/friend/accountability partner in my life. She knows when I need to laugh, cry, be encouraged, be challenged, and be smacked around & told to let stuff go! Yep, she knows me inside and out...yet despite everything she knows about me, she loves me for me! She's an incredible example of what it means to be a woman after God's own heart. No matter where life takes me, I'm confident that she'll be a part of it wherever I go!

5. Karl Black - Most people might not know Karl Black. At one time, he was a part of NMC Student Ministries as a Senior High Small Group Leader. That was how I first encountered Karl. My family had just made the move to NMC from a smaller church, my parents wanted a church closer to home. I wasn't excited about the switch, but my first Wednesday night at NMC there was this guy that walked up to me clearly recognizing I felt out of place. He introduced himself as Karl & asked for my name. After making small talk, he turned to me before I walked away & said, "If you come back again next week, I promise to remember your name." Something as "insignificant" as remembering my name made a huge impact on my life. I came back the following week, walked in the doors, & heard from across the room "Kristy Mikel!" He made me feel welcomed in a place that I didn't feel like I belonged. He introduced me to others (Terry Bley) who then introduced me to Janelle...and well, the rest is history. Karl stepping out to remember my name opened the door for other influencers to step into my life. Without him doing what he did on that first night I officially joined NMC Senior High, I might not be where I am today.

6. Grandpa Mikel - My grandpa passed away when I was 12 years old. No other funeral stands out to me more than his. Even as a 12 year old, I recognized the kind of influence he had on my life. My grandpa was one of the most loving people in the world. It didn't matter the color of your skin, the amount of money you made, what you looked like, what others thought of you, or what you thought of yourself...he simply loved people and loved them well. I loved spring & summer days when we'd sit out on the swing set in his front yard and just spend time together. I could listen to him tell story after story and I would never get bored. Sometimes he would just hum while we swung staring up at the clouds. He didn't have to say anything at all to let me know that he loved me. Spending time with me was proof enough of that. I love him, miss him, and think of him often. I'm so thankful for the legacy he's left behind and for the impression he has made on my life.

7. Sulema - There are all kinds of influencers in our life. There are far more than seven that I could list, but Sulema is someone who often comes to my mind as I consider those who have shaped who I have become. I met Sulema 12,000 feet up in the Andes Mountains in the small village of Huallanca, Peru. Stepping off the bus after a long ride winding through the mountains, I still remember catching a glimpse of her smiling face. I'd never been overseas before this NMC Student Ministries IMPACT trip (2001, after graduating high school). I didn't know what to expect for the seven days we'd spend in Peru. But the time I spent with Sulema and so many others changed my life. Without knowing me, she loved me. My heart broke for a young girl who literally seemed to have nothing, who just wanted to know she was loved and valued, who was just like any other little girl you might meet. It was in Peru that God gave me a heart for overseas missions. It was through Sulema that God challenged me to think beyond myself, love beyond myself, and live beyond myself.

I'm so thankful for the people God has put in place in my life. I'm thankful for those who have come and gone for different seasons. I have been blessed by the investment of so many. I am who I am because of these and so many others.

Sunday Seven: 7 Things Worth Mentioning

2011-02-07T07:25:00.006-05:00

Just started this "Sunday Seven" last week and already I forgot to post this yesterday!!!

1. Enslave Me - Students at NMC have been taking this year to address the issues of Teens In Crisis and Human Traffficking. They've been gaining awareness and are now getting ready to give sacrificially of their time in an event called Enslave Me. Students will be "sold" for one day (March 19) to work for their "purchaser" or one of our Ministry Partners. To find out more about it, check out www.stopredlights.com. Students, you can download an application there & WE'LL STILL ACCEPT FORMS THROUGH THIS WEDNESDAY!!!

2. Uganda & Peace - My bestest friend in the whole world, Janelle Prenkert, and her husband Derry are in the process of an international adoption. You can read about their story here. Not long ago, they received some news that it could be another 3 to 6 months before they have a court date set to head over & get their son due to the unrest in Uganda as they enter into their elections. This is worth mentioning because it's worth praying for the situation in Uganda. My prayer is that a country that has a history of civil unrest will experience a time of peace during these elections unlike anything they've ever seen. My prayer is that God would begin a move in Uganda and an outpouring of His Spirit there. My prayer is that a little boy would know that he has a mom and dad on the other side of the world who love him unconditionally. My prayer is that a mom and dad this side of the globe experience that same kind of peace that God is in control and preparing a way for them.

3. God's Truth - NMC student, Katherine Berkey, has started a series on her blog entitled "50 Days of Truth". During this time, she takes a truth found in Scripture and blogs about it, because after all, we live in a world that is happy to get us to buy into lies. I'm a fan of her series and what she's posted thus far. You can follow along here. "Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching, you really are my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" -John 8:31-32

4. PVC...Are we living it? - It was a little over a month ago that 150+ junior high & senior high students and leaders headed up to Evart, MI for the Winter Retreat at Spring Hill Camp. It was there that the senior high students and leaders received a challenge from Caleb "Biz" Bislow to be "Unusual Soldiers" who live out these 3 attributes of PVC (Passion, Vision, Courage) in their pursuit of Christ. This morning, and every morning, when I walked into my office, I saw my piece of PVC pipe sitting on my desk. Each morning during our TAWG at the retreat, we were given the opportunity to decorate our own piece of PVC pipe to remember these three attributes and the call God has placed on our own life to live them out. This morning, I'm reminded of my Passion (Matthew 22:37-40), Vision (Isaiah 42:6-7), and Courage (Romans 8:31).

5. Multiply 4G - NMC's mission statement is the following... Nappanee Missionary Church exists to make Fully Committed Disciples of Jesus Christ. We believe there are five principles to becoming a fully committed disciple: Change (choosing to follow), Grow (practicing healthy disciplines), Connect (doing life together), Engage (committing to serve), & Multiply (reproducing 4G). Daily I'm reminded of my need and my call to invest in others. Multiply 4G is all about investing in someone else who then invests in someone else who then invests in someone else...4G! When I consider all the investments that have been made in my life, I'm incredibly grateful, encouraged, and challenged to now do the same for someone else! "You have heard me teach these things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others." -2 Timothy 2:2

6. Life Verse - My life verse (a truth that I hold onto & try to live by) is Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." I'm so thankful that this promise is just as true today as it was yesterday and that it will be just as true tomorrow as it is today.

7. Family - (it's always worth a mention)... I love my family and am so incredibly grateful to be surrounded by people who love me, encourage me, support me, & pray for me. I have come to recognize how rare a thing that can be.

A "simple" call

2011-02-05T17:54:00.003-05:00

"Live a life worthy of the calling you have received." -Eph. 4:1

Every day.
Making the most of every opportunity.

I find myself being reminded of this daily. God, guide my steps & give me the courage to step out an obey wherever you may lead. Amen.

25 Random Things on a Snowy Night

2011-02-01T19:41:00.008-05:00

1. My car is stuck in a snow bank in our driveway!
2. This time next year, I will be in the sunshine on the equator!
3. I have never seen the movie The Matrix.
4. My favorite number is 33.
5. In 6th grade, I placed first in the 50 & 100 yard dash.
6. I love to watch snow boarding (and X-games in general), tennis & football.
7. My guilty pleasure TV show is "Project Runway"...though I don't get to see it that often.
8. I own all 6 seasons of LOST. To those "haters" out there, I dare you to watch the first season start to finish & not get hooked!
9. My favorite colors are green, blue, & brown.
10. Hot spiced apple cider is one of the best underrated drinks on a cold, snowy night!
11. I took 3.5 years of Spanish & can recall very little. I spent 7 weeks in China, 1 month in Vietnam, 6 weeks in Kenya (split among 2 trips), & 7 days in Haiti (speak Creole) and I think I remember more words/phrases/songs from those places than my 3.5 years worth of Spanish!
12. I have 3 scars on my face, none of which have a cool scar story to go with them! All are a result of 3 very dumb things! My mom always told me that if I ever went missing she could at least describe me by all my scars (I have a lot)...sad day!
13. I'm a Disney addict. We even have a day in the office called "Disney Thursday" that involves just the girls in the office since they guys have the day off! (Crank up the Disney tunes!)
14. I love reading! (And I'm up for new material...so send suggestions my way)
15. I'm a huge fan of board games. Clue might possibly be the best board game out there!
16. Windows at night scare me. I can't stand to have blinds or curtains open once it gets dark out!
17. I love giraffes & have a lot of giraffe stuffed animals (given to me). But the one that means the most was a small bean bag giraffe that my mom sent to me my first semester of college during a really tough time. It came complete with an encouraging note! Both now sit in my room where I see them everyday. They'll be traveling to Kenya with me!
18. I can't sleep very well with complete quiet. I usually have to run a fan.
19. My favorite "sport" growing up was Capture the Flag. Yeah, they should have that in the Olympics!
20. Whenever I "dance around" with friends, I find myself doing moves that were taught to me by Katylynn Ivy Prenkert! Thanks KL for the tips! I can't pull them off quite as well as you!
21. I love working with high school students! Call me crazy, but it's the best!
22. My favorite actor is Matt Damon. My favorite actress is a toss-up between Reese Witherspoon & Sandra Bullock.
23. Growing up I loved the following shows (in no particular order): Duck Tales, Spiderman, Saved by the Bell, Boy Meets World, Growing Pains, Darkwing Duck, I Love Lucy, Dick Van Dyke, Fraggle Rock, & Gummy Bears (yeah, there was a show & it wasn't about the candy snack).
24. I like Swedish Fish.
25. This past year I got to check something off my "bucket list" when I saw The Lion King on Broadway (in Chicago)!

So there you have it, 25 random things about me! If you're reading this, it's your turn. What are 25 random things about you?

Sunday Seven: 7 Changes

2011-01-30T16:31:00.002-05:00

In an effort to introduce something new to the blog, I've decided to start the Sunday Seven. Today's addition: Seven Changes - there's been a lot of these happening lately!

1. The Move - it's finally complete. I've moved from my apartment into a house with 2 other girls (who've graciously allowed me to crash with them) in an effort to save on rent prior to leaving for Kenya.

2. The Laptop - this past week a package arrived for me that I was more than ecstatic about! My first laptop (yep, I made it through college without one) has arrived!

3. The Roomies - in the move I made, I gained two incredible roomies: Jessica Noelle (Preteen Coordinator at NMC) & Deandra Burkholder (Children's Ministries at NMC).

4. The Silent Night - I must say, it's a weird thing not to hear the trains going by anymore. My apartment was right next to the train tracks & while most times I didn't think I really noticed the trains...I do notice their absence. I think I may forever have to fall asleep to the sound of a fan...otherwise it's just too quiet!

5. The Pace - Life has been more than a little crazy this past month. And though things are still borderline busy, it's a different kind of busy. I'm thoroughly enjoying the "mini break" from all that has been stressful over the past month. I've come to really appreciate when life "slows down".

6. The Walk - Living so close to the church now, I don't have to get up in the morning & warm up my car or scrap it off before I can head to work. I can just walk across the parking lot! Since I thoroughly hate scraping snow & ice off my car, I think I'm really gonna enjoy the minute walk!

7. The Freshmen Girls of NMC - So today there was a temporary change in my schedule. The 9th grade girls youth class teacher was sick & so I was asked to fill in. Walking into the room I quickly realized, I don't know the freshmen class! I work primarily with Juniors & Seniors, so I haven't found myself interacting much with the freshmen. Boy am I missing out! These girls are hilarious, sweet, & genuine girls. I'm thankful to have met them & excited to take the opportunity to know them better!

A New Season

2011-01-18T08:20:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day!

In life, we often go through different "seasons". Some are happy, some are sad, some are trying, some are confusing...you get the picture. Lots of changes tend to bring on a new season, and that's exactly where I feel like I'm at right now. We'll call this season "Transition".

Truthfully, I struggle to be completely okay with the new season I find myself in. Some days I'm really able to embrace it and it excites me, and other days, the fear of it all just seems to overwhelm me.

Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work, I began wrestling through all the changes that are happening right now (moving out of my apartment, thinking ahead on all kinds of financial questions & insurance "stuff", focusing on stuff at work while trying to make sure I train others in the things I'm doing, & tons of other stuff). Yet in the midst of all of this, God has been so patient with me. In the times where I'm struggling to "let go" of stuff and hold on to Him, He's still there waiting for me.

So as I was getting ready and thinking through all of this yesterday, a song came on that I've heard a lot & even sung a lot, but it suddenly took on a whole new meaning. The song: "You Can Have Me" by Sidewalk Prophets. So often I want to be tight-fisted with my time, my heart, my material possessions, my money, my _______...but the problem is, none of it is even mine to start with.

In this new season of Transition the anthem God has given me is "You Can Have Me". Whatever you ask for, it's Your's God...and that's a whole lot easier to say than live out sometimes. But with each new change that comes my way, I'm reminded of that anthem & that all I have is not my own.

A new season and a new anthem is a beautiful thing.